Having struggled with conceiving their first two kids, they had prayed that if God wanted them to have a third one, they would be able to do so naturally. 

Within a month of that prayer, the couple discovered that Joy was pregnant.

Everything seemed to be smooth sailing – until the 21-week detailed scan.

“It was a very, very huge shock,” said Joy.

“I would never forget the scene where the (sonographer) did the detailed scan and was happily introducing the different parts of Jalen,” added Jason.

“And then (she) suddenly turned quiet and looked at the screen. I could tell it had to do with the heart area.”

The chirpy sonographer turned solemn, and the room fell silent. 

A paediatric cardiologist was called in, delivering a devastating diagnosis to the couple.

The detailed scan showed that there were five major defects in Jalen’s heart, rendering him pretty much incompatible with life.

Jalen had hypoplastic right heart syndrome with pulmonary atresia. In short, he only had half a heart.

Even if he did survive all the major surgeries, they were told Jalen would not have a normal life.

The couple was then advised to terminate the pregnancy. 

Was this not a gift from God?

“The amount of pain, turmoil and sadness that enveloped me during those days were tough to bear,” said Joy, as she thought about the loss of her child. 

“I felt abandoned by God. I felt He did not keep His promise and gave me something I could not bear.” 

Having already felt Jalen kicking inside of her, Joy could not bring herself to go through with the termination, which would involve taking an injection to make her baby’s heart stop and delivering him as a stillborn.

“I didn’t know how I was going to give that permission for that needle to poke and stop his heart. How was I going to live with this decision?” questioned Joy.

“Once we heard the news, we didn’t speak to each other for at least two weeks. We totally disregarded the Jalen issue, and just continued our duties as Mum and Dad to our older kids.” 

Joy with her two older children: Jaylene, 7, and Jayden, 4.

Jason, too, was fighting an internal battle.

“My head was telling me to just abort, to just end this journey,” he said. Based on the information they had been given, it seemed like the logical decision to make.

“But my heart told me that I was in no position to do so; this was not my decision to make.

“I was also reminded of the prayer that we made before – that if God wanted to give us a third child, He had to do it through us and not anyone else. And He gave us this child.”

With barely much time to make a decision (abortion is only legal in Singapore for up to 24 weeks of pregnancy), the couple sought advice from the people around them, including other doctors.

“The first few people that we saw in the private practice kept telling us to terminate,” recounted Joy.

“When we shared the news with our family, they also encouraged us to terminate. That was when I just shut down.

“I couldn’t really function because I felt forced to do something I didn’t want to. I felt like I had no choice.”

This was a bittersweet family photoshoot taken after Jalen’s diagnosis, as the couple thought that they might not be able to keep their son.

Sharing about how he prayed a lot during those few weeks, Jason confessed that he was leaning towards an abortion even though Joy felt otherwise.

“At that point of time, most of my prayers were blaming God. Why did He allow such a thing to happen to me?” he asked.

However, something supernatural happened on one particular night.

Jason had been praying, when a strong feeling came over him to seek out another medical opinion. 

It made no sense since they had already consulted one of Singapore’s top paediatric cardiologists.

“Prior to this, I had never really heard from God. I didn’t know how to hear from God,” he elaborated.

But the prompting was so intense that Jason decided to obey, calling up different hospitals.

Due to their tight timeline, they were only able to get an appointment with KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital (KKH).

This open door turned out to be a godsend.

What if there was another way?

Met with much empathy, the doctors at KKH offered Joy the option of carrying Jalen to full term, delivering him and making him comfortable until he passed on.

Before making the final decision on whether to proceed with the pregnancy, the couple also talked to their youth pastor and his wife.

“During that meeting we prayed life into Jalen’s tiny body, and we repented that we were grieving before his time was up,” said Joy.

Miraculously, an unexplainable peace and comfort filled their hearts right after that meeting.

For the first time in weeks, the couple were finally able to look at each other in the eye and discuss about Jalen.

“We released the decision to God, whether to take him away from us or not. God is the only one who can give and take away life,” she emphasised.

After making the decision to keep their baby, Joy also experienced a change within her spirit.

“I was finally able to fall asleep at night with ease. There was no more overwhelming sadness within me.”

What followed next were multiple appointments at KKH, from the team in charge of high-risk pregnancies, to palliative care and medical social workers.

“We received a lot of comfort, a lot of hope,” related Jason.

“What was described to us by the paediatric cardiologist in KKH was quite different.”

“He was the first and only person that gave us assurance that Jalen would be able to live a reasonably normal life,” added Joy.

They would only later find out that the paediatric cardiologist was a Christian and also a former classmate of one of their church leaders.

This would not be the only moment when they felt like God was watching out for them.

Joy’s pregnancy proceeded as usual; Jalen was a full-term baby.

Born on August 31, 2023, Jalen was delivered in his 38th week, with no complications. 

Describing her Caesarian section (C-sec), Joy added that she was able to listen to worship songs because the hospital had recently started music therapy for patients before and during surgery.

Hoping to lessen their financial strain, Joy said they had also chosen a six-bedder C-class ward with no air-conditioning.

However, after 15 minutes of being wheeled into the ward, a nurse asked if she preferred to be transferred to another ward without babies.

To Joy’s surprise, she was brought to an air-conditioned B2+ ward as there were no other C-class beds available. 

There, only three out of five beds were occupied. The other two patients were also soon discharged, leaving Joy in the room for the remaining two days of her stay.

“How great is our God! It was not even a prayer. It was just a complaint I had, and He blessed me and answered my every possible want in the situation I was in.”

Covered in prayer by many groups of people, the couple were hoping that Jalen could gain weight quickly so that he could go for his first heart surgery.

Jalen, the brave fighter

Due to Jalen’s condition, he was in the neonatal then children’s intensive care unit for 66 days. 

“I remembered the helpless feeling when I first saw him. There were so many plugs and tubes going into his tiny body, arms and legs,” said Joy.

“However, we praise God that he was looking so much more pink than the doctors said he would.

“He did not look like a blue baby. No one could tell what was wrong with him just based on his appearance. He looked like a normal baby.”

The days following Jalen’s birth were filled with many tests and scans, as doctors were trying to determine a date for his first open heart surgery. 

“He contracted MRSA (a bacterial infection), and there were problems with feeding and gaining weight, so the initial surgery date was pushed back a couple of times,” explained Joy.

Jalen’s vitals were initially stable. However, his whole body eventually swelled up due to all the medication that he was on.

Travelling to and fro KKH on public transport daily despite recovering from a C-sec wound was also painful, but the mother of three managed to anyway.

“I also don’t know how I did it,” said Joy. “When people ask me, the only answer I have is it was God’s grace and strength that carried me through.” 

As Jalen’s oxygen saturation was slowly dropping, the doctors decided to go ahead with surgery on October 11, regardless of his weight or MRSA status.

This surgery would involve placing a shunt in Jalen, so that it would create a new path for deoxygenated blood to flow from his heart to his lungs. 

“We trusted God to guide the surgeon’s hands and carry him through this operation. Many others were also in prayer with us during his surgery,” said Joy.

Their prayers were answered – Jalen’s first operation was indeed a success!

The scars on Jalen’s body bear witness to all the surgeries he has undergone.

However, there were more challenges in the days to come.

As Jalen’s vitals were not doing too well and his oxygen saturation was hovering at 60–70%, the doctors told the couple that Jalen might have to undergo another emergency operation if his condition did not improve.

A week later, a decision was made to switch the ventilator to spontaneous mode, in hopes that Jalen would initiate breathing on his own.

Within a day, however, Jalen’s oxygen level kept dropping and he became breathless.

“Through an X-ray, they saw that the air sacs in his lungs had burst and were leaking air into his chest wall,” described Joy. 

“His surgeon was called down to do an emergency procedure on him and a chest tube was re-inserted to release air pressure.”

There were many health scares, but Jalen overcame them all.

Thankfully, Jalen slowly showed improvement in his condition over the next few days.

He was finally able to be transferred from intensive care to the step-down unit, where they would try to wean him off all the machines and tubes.

But as Jalen’s oxygen saturation did not seem to be rising even after more than a week, the doctors told the couple that it was highly likely that they would have to bring him home with various machines to support his breathing. 

“That was another huge stress point in terms of caregiving and finances,” said Joy.

The cost of procuring all the different machines and consumables would have easily exceeded $5,000 even after subsidy. 

“I started to pray for Jalen’s condition to improve, so that we would not need to bring him home with any machines. If not, then to somehow help with this financial burden.”

Four days later, God answered Joy’s prayer again.

“The homecare nurse texted me saying someone returned all the three different medical equipment that Jalen needed, and we just had to pay for the consumables and oxygen,” she marvelled.

“This cut our cost by about 75%. Praise God! I was just dumbfounded.”

Jalen could finally go home, but he was back in the hospital again after a week.

Never alone

But even after his initial discharge, Jalen would go in and out of hospital repeatedly over the next few months.

Around a month later, his oxygen level plummeted to 30–40%, requiring hospitalisation and intubation again.

Although Jalen’s second heart surgery was only planned for between six and nine months old, the doctors decided to bring it forward, performing this when he was four months old.

While the operation was a success, it was not long before Jalen was back in the ICU again.

“He was struggling to breathe, and his oxygen levels were not that fantastic,” said Joy. “They found out that his windpipe collapsed due to a complication from too many intubations.”

For a long time, Jalen’s condition was not stable.

Estimating that Jalen spent six out of the first eight months of his life in KKH, Joy said: “It was very crazy. By eight months old, he already had seven surgeries.

“After work, I would go down to the hospital to deliver the milk, then after that I would head back home.

“Our older children also suffered. Because of that, we didn’t have dinner with them for the longest time.”

By the time the couple reached home, it was usually bedtime for their then three-year-old and six-year-old. On weekends, their daughter and son would also follow them to the hospital.

Remembering how earlier on there were well-meaning people who advised them to terminate the pregnancy since they already had two kids, Jason said: “It’s true that we’re not able to spend as much time with our two older children. Financially, we’re not able to splurge on them too.”

“But through Jalen, I feel that our older children can learn a lot of things – not to take their own health for granted, and that there are a lot of things to give thanks for. We don’t need expensive things,” noted Joy.

Today, their three children play well together – the older siblings always shower Jalen with a lot of love.

Revealing that they had to balance Jalen’s needs for long-term caregiving and having sufficient income, she said: “I was willing to take no-pay leave, but we were so afraid of the medical bills that were racking up. 

While she was not able to work from home due to her job as an air traffic controller, Joy was grateful that her bosses understood when there were times she had to drop everything due to Jalen’s unstable condition.

“They were flexible. I could still attend to both my job and Jalen at the same time.”

Likewise, Jason also saw God’s hand in how he was able to juggle both his home and work responsibilities as a primary school teacher with the help from supportive colleagues.

“Every time when things felt like they were going to crash, it seemed that there was a safety net that God put in place,” observed Jason.

“There was always someone there to give us a lift or a boost. That motivated me to just keep going.”

Jalen also has a birth defect in his ear, and he once had to be hospitalised due to an infection. The doctors are waiting until he is older to determine the next steps.

Sharing how they had also recently changed church before Jalen was conceived, Joy said: “I feel that God placed us in this cell and this church for this purpose as well. They were really behind us.”

As Jalen was unable to be insured due to his condition, their cell leader from Gospel Light started a fundraiser to alleviate some of their medical expenses.

Prayer and practical support also poured in, from offers to shop for groceries, to caring for their older children.

“We didn’t ask, but it was just given to us. It helped us a lot. We felt less alone in this journey,” said Joy.

“That’s another way that we felt that God had us in mind. He’s not going to put us through something we cannot bear.”

God of the impossible

Admitting that it has not been easy, Joy shared: “It has been very, very tough. But somehow we’re able to get by. God didn’t give us something that we couldn’t bear.” 

Currently, 16-month-old Jalen is able to breathe on his own, though his oxygen saturation is only around 70-75%.

“That also explains why his growth is slow, at a three-quarter pace,” said Jason. “If you look at him, you would think he’s a nine- to 10-month-old baby, or a small one-year-old if you’re stretching it.”

At Jalen’s one-year-old celebration, family and friends who had journeyed with the couple were present, including their cell group.

“His weight and height are below the third percentile. He’s really, really small for his age,” said Joy. “But intellectually, he’s fine.”

While Jalen has to be on daily aspirin to thin his blood and iron supplements because of anaemia, he does not require any other special care.

The toddler has also recovered from a few bouts of flu and fever without needing to be hospitalised.

“My biggest struggle is probably taking care of him,” she added. “Because until now, his body still functions a bit like a newborn.

“He still requires milk every two to three hours. And that’s taken a huge toll on me, physically and mentally.” 

Although Jalen has started on solids, he is still not eating a lot. He has also just taken his first steps a few days ago. 

The family enjoys walks in nature and other outdoor activities.

Nonetheless, the couple are amazed by Jalen’s growth and are hopeful about the future.

“If he completes his last heart op (around age three) without much complication, he will actually be cleared to do PE (Physical Education) in school,” said Jason.

“But he will not be cleared to do any competitive sports, and he has to avoid contact sports.”

“That is still so different from the picture the first few doctors painted for us!” exclaimed Joy.

“If anybody were to see him, they wouldn’t guess that there’s anything wrong,” she pointed out.

Other than the small bulge in Jalen’s chest due to how his rib cage has healed back after surgery, one would not be able to guess that he suffers from a heart condition.

However, because Jalen only still has half a heart, the couple are not sure how much time they have left with him. 

“His heart will start to fail in his 30s and, along with his heart failure, his other organs will start to fail,” explained Joy. 

Due to the way certain arteries were formed in his body, his paediatric cardiologist has also raised the possibility of sudden death.

“But the doctor also did tell us, ‘Who knows what will happen 20 years down the road?’ There might be advancements in technology that would help prolong his life,” said Jason.

The Yews live life normally, treasuring the time they have together and creating memories as a family of five.

Recalling that she had asked God why He had given them a baby with just half a heart, Joy said Psalm 139:13–14 came to mind.

“It reminded me that Jalen is not a mistake. God made him this way and chose us as his parents,” she declared.

“We may not fully understand why, and we don’t know what His plans are, but we just continue to cling on to Him, and know that He is our strength and refuge.

“Jalen may not seem perfect, but actually he is perfect. And he is created in God’s image.”

As for Jason, he has seen how Mark 10:27 has been real in Jalen’s life.

“He has already beaten many, many odds. What was termed as ‘impossible’ by the initial paediatric cardiologist was made possible with God,” he remarked.

“God has answered many of our prayers until now. (Jalen) has been successful in all his operations. There were complications, but they were not fatal. 

“Every operation he managed to pull through with God’s grace is like a miracle. He has gone through so many miracles.”

Despite all that Jalen has been through, he has been such a bubbly baby.

While both Jason and Joy are pleading for more time with Jalen, they are also praying that they will be able to fully surrender their son to God.

“It’s now very, very, very difficult to imagine life without Jalen. As tiring as it has been, he has brought a lot of smiles and laughter to our lives,” said Jason.

“If God calls him home, I want to be strong enough, to be thankful and happy for the time that I have had with him.

“Rather than blaming God again, to say ‘Why did you take away Jalen?’, I want to be able to thank God for all the wonderful time, the bonus time, that He has granted us.”

Agreeing, Joy added: “What if Jalen is not with us anymore? That is our biggest fear. But since God put us on this journey, we are trusting Him for His grace, strength, patience, joy and all His promises to carry us through.”

RELATED STORIES:

Her doctors advised her to abort her baby with a heart condition, but God healed him

“If God wants to take you home, just go”: Parents told their baby after watching her endure procedure after painful procedure

Three children with fatal genetic disorder, yet David Lang sees God’s sovereignty

The post Perfect with half a heart: Born with 5 major defects, this tiny miracle has beaten the odds appeared first on Salt&Light.

He was just 36 years old in 1983.

He lay there injured and helpless for over an hour, before an ambulance finally arrived. By the time he was rushed to the hospital, his condition was critical.

The doctors delivered heartbreaking news to my mother: The chances of him surviving were slim. Even if he did pull through, he was likely to spend the rest of his life bedridden.

My mother was overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty.

How would she care for a bedridden husband while raising three young children alone?

I was only three years old at the time. My brothers were six and one. 

The author celebrating his first birthday with his parents and elder brother Gaius. Their younger brother Paul was not yet born. The author’s father met with the car accident two years after this photo was taken.

The image of my father lying in the hospital bed, body encased in casts, is etched in my memory, even after all these years.

My father regained consciousness, but could not accept the doctor’s prognosis that he would spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Our church pastor, the late Pastor James Hing, came to the hospital and prayed for my father.

Many others from our church joined in prayer as well, believing that Jesus has the power to heal, even though the doctors had reached the limits of medical science, even though all hope seemed lost.

During those darkest moments, my father also prayed boldly to God. He had only become a Christian four years earlier. 

Quoting Kings 20 and Isaiah 38, my father told God: “Lord, just as You extended King Hezekiah’s life by fifteen years, You can extend mine too.” 

Ps James also brought a word from 1 Peter 2:24: “By His wounds you have been healed.”

This verse became a lifeline for my father. He clung to it, repeating it over and over until it stirred up his faith.

The author’s father, Daniel Lee (fifth from left, in white) and pastor James Hing (right, in white), with members of their house church in 1979.

Then the unexplainable happened.

Celebrating the author’s fifth birthday in 1985 – two years after the accident – and his father’s recovery.

My father began to recover. Strength returned to his body.

From being completely immobilised, he progressed to sitting up, then standing, and eventually walking. After just one month in the hospital, he was discharged – much to the amazement of the medical staff.

The Lee brothers were in primary school when this photo was taken in the late 1980s.

The doctors, unable to explain his sudden recovery, recorded it in their reports as a “miracle”.

Though my father could no longer exercise rigorously nor carry heavy things after the accident, he could still work and function normally to fulfil his daily needs.

The accident was a catalyst of change

My father’s miraculous recovery deepened his faith in God.

He left his job in the business world and, together with my mother, became a private tutor.

He also served faithfully in the church – first as an interpreter, then as an elder.

Daniel Lee (right) with his pastor, Adam Hing, on a mission trip in 2006.

Over the next three decades, he dedicated himself to travelling around Asia, offering help and hope to communities by sharing his testimony of healing and the love of Christ.

The accident that could have taken his life became the catalyst for a deeper belief in the promises of God.

It affirmed to him, and our family, that nothing is impossible for God.

We, as a family, witnessed firsthand the hand of God and His grace and mercy through my father’s recovery. That strengthened our own faith, too.

40 years later

More than 40 years have passed since the accident that changed our lives.

My father is still with us – healthy, active and a walking testimony of God’s goodness. 

Every morning, he prays for our family and the needs of those around him.

He has seen his children grow into adulthood, finish their education, find stable jobs, and start families of their own.

Having been shaped by the godly influence of our father and mother, my brothers and I followed in our parents’ footsteps by becoming educators, a profession that serves to shape the lives of others positively. 

“My parents’ siblings witnessed my father’s miraculous healing. Some of them accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord,” said the author, pictured on his wedding day with his extended family.

My father still serves in church as an elder.

My two brothers, Gaius and Paul, now serve as associate pastors.

Some of my father’s grandchildren are also serving actively in church in ministries like worship, logistics and serving the needs of the elderly.

Just recently, the author’s parents celebrated their 49th wedding anniversary – another testament of God’s goodness.

God says in Exodus 15:26: “I am the Lord who heals you.”

Our family’s story is a living reminder that even in the darkest moments, God’s power and love is at work.

With church members after a Bible study led by the author (back row, fifth from left).

We have seen His faithfulness through this and other trials, and we have seen how when God blesses a person, others around are blessed, too.

While looking through some old family photos, the Lord prompted me to write this article, so that more people will know of God’s faithfulness and healing grace.

A version of this story first appeared in Stories of Hope.

RELATED STORIES:

A new breath of life: How Brian was healed of a lung condition that almost killed him

At 86, Mdm Teo was miraculously healed of rheumatism and body aches

Hospitalised for 6 months during his PSLE year, young Derek Hong aced the exams and got into RI. Fluke or miracle?

The post “My father miraculously recovered after a near-fatal accident”: Doctors said he would be bedridden for life, but God had other plans appeared first on Salt&Light.

Charmain and Ps Jacob with baby Eliza.

In Part 1, Salt&Light traced the Lim’s journey from the conception to the birth of their daughter. This is Part 2 of their story.

The long wait

Eliza was born with rare heart defect – pulmonary atresia. Her pulmonary valve, located between the right ventricle and the pulmonary artery, did not form. So blood could not be pumped from her heart to her lungs to get oxygen to the body.

Eliza (in Charmaine’s arms) never left the hospital after she was born.

Delivered at 31 weeks, she weighed just 1.4kg and was immediately whisked away to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). There, she was attached to machines that helped her breathe, monitored her condition and fed her. She had to be hospitalised till she hit 2.5kg and could undergo surgery to fix her faulty heart valve. Only then could she be discharged.

Every day in the hospital was a rollercoaster ride of “waiting and hoping” for the Lims. Some days, Eliza fed well and put on weight. Some days, she could not keep down her milk and lost weight.

As a premature baby, Eliza also had all the attendant medical issues including underdeveloped lungs and retinopathy of prematurity, the abnormal growth of blood vessels in the eyes.

“There was a lot of drama. Intubation, blood transfusion, eye dilation, scans, IV needles. It was very hard to see her going through the pain.

“It was also very scary to receive phone calls from the hospital to come down because you don’t know what they are going to tell you,” said Charmaine, 41.  

Through all this, there were also happy memories.

Recalled Ps Jacob, 43: “I would talk to her, pray with her, hold her hand. When she could get out of the incubator and was able to respond more and there were fewer wires attached to her, I was able to carry her, read to her.

Eliza was an expressive child who engaged with her parents throughout her short life.

“She could recognise me and grab firmly onto my finger. When I held her, she would stare at me. Those are the endearing moments, very sweet, very heartwarming.”

Charmaine chimed in: “She’s Daddy’s girl. When he comes to play with her, she is very happy. She’s playful. When I do flash cards with her, she gets a bit cranky, she will yawn.”

Her fight for life

By the time Eliza was five months old, she only weighed 2kg. But the doctors told the Lims they had to go ahead with the surgery. The ideal timeframe for the procedure was within the first three months after birth. They had long passed that deadline.

At five months, Eliza underwent open-heart surgery to correct her defective heart valve.

“I was quite hopeful. That means that after this first surgery, she can go home. We already prepared a room for her,” said Charmaine.

Husband and wife were also assured that the surgery, though major, was a well-established procedure with a high success rate. Though it took twice the expected four hours, Eliza’s open-heart surgery was indeed a success.

Eliza had a few surgeries in an effort to correct her congenital heart condition.

But two days after, the Lims were called into the hospital before dawn. Eliza’s heart had stopped and they had had to resuscitate her.

“From then on, it became a very stressful season. Almost every day or two, something new would happen to her.”

Eliza went through countless scans – brain, lungs, heart. She received blood transfusion after blood transfusion and was put on kidney dialysis.

Another open-heart surgery was ordered because her body did not respond well to the first device they implanted in her. Then another surgery was done because the second one did not help her. She also had to be resuscitated a few times.

Said Charmaine: “It was very difficult to see her in so much pain. After one episode of resuscitation, it was raining heavily outside and I asked God, ‘Are You crying for Eliza?’

“I thought: ‘Wow, you are six months old but you have never seen a tree, never heard a bird chirping. Things that we take for granted you never had the pleasure of experiencing.’

“She never even had her parents give her a normal bath in a bathtub. All this that a normal child goes through, she never had the opportunity. All the losses.”

Despite the medical crises, Eliza hung on. She was sedated but she could open her eyes. Doctors said she could also hear what was said to her.

Said Ps Jacob: “She couldn’t respond like she used to. But we told her she was a brave girl for always bouncing back. We told her we loved her.”

Added Charmaine: “But we also told her, ‘If God wants to take you home, if you are tired, just go.’”

After that, Eliza started to show signs of improvement. Even so, doctors told the Lims to be prepared for the worst. Thus far, only Ps Jacob and Charmaine had been allowed to visit Eliza. Now the doctors gave other family members permission to see her.

Ps Jacob also baptised her.

“We bought her a baptism dress. It was a surreal moment. She was the first child I baptised.”

A life remembered  

A month after the surgery and three weeks after being put on life support, doctors told the Lims they had to take Eliza off the machine. She had gone past the optimal two weeks on life support.

“The machine pumped blood throughout her body (to) let her heart rest in the hope that her heart can be strengthened.

“If she was off the machine, the heart may start pumping again. They knew the chances were low. We were prepared. We dressed her up that day and told her, ‘You might meet the Lord today’,” said Ps Jacob.

As the machine was switched off, Eliza’s heartbeat became fainter and fainter. Ps Jacob and Charmaine were allowed to hold her.

“We watched her fade away. I had never carried her without tubes around her. It was the first time I could carry her as she was, see her entire face without any tubes or stickers.

“She looked very peaceful, like she was sleeping. That sense that she is not suffering anymore. It was a very sad but peaceful moment. It was a sacred moment,” said Charmaine, tearing at the memory.

Charmaine told Salt&Light about the light she saw throughout that dark season: “We are very thankful for our community. I’m quite introverted, very paiseh (shy) in front of people.

“But when we got to know Eliza’s condition, the news was too big to carry on our own. I knew I just had to ask people to pray for us straight away.”

Pray they did. The church in which Ps Jacob served, the one in which Charmaine worked, the churches from which both came and their Trinity Theological College (TTC) friends all prayed for Eliza throughout the six months.

“The night before the final procedure, the WSCS (Women’s Society of Christian Service) of the GC (General Conference of The Methodist Church in Singapore) organised a prayer meeting over Zoom for us,” said Ps Jacob.

Added Charmaine: “From the beginning, we were supported by our community through prayer, through presence, through food.

“At the wake, so many came. It was very healing to retell her story, to celebrate her bravery, to honour her and say her name. It kept her legacy alive.”

Despite the grief, Ps Jacob chose to conduct Eliza’s wake service.

“It was the little something I could do for her. I knew her journey best. It was therapeutic.”

The healing continues

The first year after their loss, Charmaine lived in a haze of grief. As time went by, she thought she would recover.

By the second year, she was working as a counsellor in a community hospital. Seeing people “getting poked” brought back memories of the weeks she had to be hospitalised when she was 27 weeks pregnant with Eliza.

“I had bodily sensations. I could feel it. The body remembered the trauma as much as I wanted to hide it.”

She also could not bear to look at photos of her daughter’s difficult last month in the hospital when the little girl was fighting for her life. As a trained counsellor, she knew she needed help. So she went for counselling.

“After that, I thought I was quite good. Zai (steady) already. Life per normal.”

Then she went for a silent retreat to pray about work-related issues. Instead, God spoke to her about her grief.

“I realised that I was very angry with God even though I didn’t want to. I hadn’t felt it till then. So I scolded Him and scolded Him till I had no more energy left.

“At the end of it, I remember asking God, ‘How is my Eliza now?’ And God was so kind. He gave me a vision of a baby, chubby and crawling. There was no scar, not even the open-heart surgical line. But I knew that was Eliza. God was assuring me that she was okay, she was very okay.

“That was my spiritual breakthrough with God. I could be honest with my feelings with Him. At the end of the day, all my questions may not have an answer. But all I needed to know about Eliza, I knew. She is doing good.”

Ps Jacob’s journey with grief is ongoing.

“Recovery takes time. I cannot deny God is good because of my journey (with Him) for a long time. But it still doesn’t make sense to me. I am still going through ups and downs.”

Ps Jacob is still processing his pain, but uses his personal encounter with grief and loss to minister to his congregation.

One thing that he has found comfort in was what an older pastor told him. Ps Jacob had wondered if it was something he had done wrong that had brought about such a tragedy. But the older pastor told him that God knew which parents were better able to care for a difficult child.

“He said, ‘It’s not anybody’s wrongdoing. It is just the brokenness of the world. God knew that by placing this child with this family, this child will be loved to the best of their abilities.’”

His loss has also marked his ministry. Ps Jacob has a greater empathy now for people. He is working with the lay in his church to extend care to families who have lost loved ones that goes beyond the funeral.

“I tell people, it’s okay to say, ‘I’m struggling. I’m angry with God. But always come back to God and ask the difficult questions.’”

RELATED STORIES:

He trafficked drugs to get rich quick, but in prison he realised he had been “chasing fantasies”

“I told God, ‘You can take my life but my son is too young’”: A father and his toddler face death one after another

Three children with fatal genetic disorder, yet David Lang sees God’s sovereignty

She is one of only 20 known cases in the world: This Singaporean baby born with a rare skin condition has beaten the odds to survive and thrive

The post “If God wants to take you home, just go”: Parents told their baby after watching her endure procedure after painful procedure appeared first on Salt&Light.

“My first thought looking at her was: Wow, you are so perfect. I cannot believe that you grew so beautifully. I was just admiring her.

“It was love at first sight. I had never met her before but the moment I saw her, I was just so full of love for her. ”

Charmaine and baby Eliza celebrating her first Mother’s Day.

Little Eliza Althea Lim Chen Xi was born on December 28 in the thick of the COVID pandemic of 2020. Her parents, Ps Jacob Lim and Charmaine, called her their “Christmas gift that came differently”.

She was the baby they never quite expected to have.

A miracle conception

When Ps Jacob and Charmaine got married in 2017, having met each other at Trinity Theological College (TTC), they lost no time in trying for a baby. After all, he was already 36 and she was 34.

Charmaine and Ps Jacob met as students in TTC.

But when no baby came along after a year, the Lims decided to consult a doctor. That was how they discovered that one of Charmaine’s fallopian tubes was blocked. No treatment was necessary. They were simply told to press on. But with her condition, it meant that Charmaine’s chances of getting pregnant was halved.

“I was disappointed. My friends were all conceiving naturally even at this age. We had always wanted kids. Both of us liked kids a lot and we got along very well with children. I had several godchildren by then.

“But there was also a quiet trust that God knows best and, in His time, He would provide.”

While they weighed their options for fertility treatments and then waited for their turn for Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), Charmaine got pregnant. By then, they had been trying to conceive a child for two and a half years.

“We were very shocked. We had tested so many times before and there was nothing. This time, there was a faint line. Never seen the line before,” said Charmaine.

Added Ps Jacob: “There was a lot of disbelief because there were a few times when her menses was just delayed. So we tested a few times just to be sure.”

The devastating news  

The first trimester of pregnancy was challenging. Charmaine experienced morning sickness and appetite changes.

“I couldn’t eat meat and needed a lot of gassy drinks to help me.”

All that disappeared the moment she entered the second trimester, “like a switch” had been flipped. But she developed medical complications. She had gestational diabetes and showed symptoms of preeclampsia. Her blood pressure was constantly very high.

“But I felt very normal.”

Then came the Week 22 detailed pre-natal check-up.

Said Charmaine: “I asked my friends what the scans would be like. They said it was going to be a special, magical moment because you would be able to see all the baby’s organs and details including the 10 fingers. I was looking forward to it very much.”

When the time came, though, the scans revealed that their baby had a heart condition. Apart from a hole in her heart, she had pulmonary atresia. Her pulmonary valve, located between the right ventricle and the pulmonary artery, did not form. So blood could not be pumped from her heart to her lungs to get oxygen to the body.

Explained Ps Jacob: “She would not be able to live. She would be a blue baby because she would not be able to breathe on her own at birth.

“They couldn’t explain why her heart had the condition. It was a rare thing.”

The hope was that, after she was born and had grown to 2.5kg, she could undergo surgery to correct the non-functioning valve. The same surgery would be repeated when she became a toddler and then every 10 years.

A chance to live  

Ps Jacob’s heart broke for his daughter.

“One thought I had was: It’s so tiring and painful and stressful for her. She has to keep going through the cycle (of surgery) again and again. And every time they do it, it’s open-heart surgery. How much pain does this child have to go through?”

Charmaine just “went blank”.

“Then I cried all the way. I was overwhelmed. I thought: If she is a gift that we have been praying and longing for, then what is going on?”

But she never questioned God. At her home church, Church of the Good Shepherd, she had had a youth pastor who had been her mentor. He had a daughter with Down Syndrome to whom Charmaine was a godmother.

“When the pastor’s wife was pregnant and we got to know that the child had Down Syndrome, I had gone through a season of wrestling with God, ‘Why so difficult? Why so unfair?’

“I told God after that, ‘If I ever have a child with special needs, I will keep my child. I know You will see my child through.’”

Ps Jacob had his own struggles.

“I asked, ‘Why like that?’ Of course, there was no answer.

“But I asked myself: With this condition, would I value her any less? No, because she is my daughter. She is a gift from God. It’s a life that is worth to be valued. I would keep her regardless of how difficult it would be.

“We did think: With so many surgical procedures, what quality of life would she have? But if we aborted her, she wouldn’t have a chance to even begin life. So we said, ’Let’s give her that chance.’”

Added Charmaine: “There was also the hope that what if God heals her miraculously in the womb? What if medical science becomes so advanced she needs only one surgery? We really wanted to give her a chance to fight and live.

“There was also this sense that it is not for us to take her life. If God allows her to live, for however long, that is His call. We will be stewards of her life for however long it is.”  

Which was why although they were offered the possibility of terminating the pregnancy, there was never a doubt that the Lims would keep the baby.

It was round about then that they settled on her name – Eliza, which means “consecrated to God”.

Said Charmaine: “All these things about her condition, very cheem (difficult to understand).

“But when the doctor gave us the option to terminate, at that moment, God confirmed to me that she has been pledged to Him. He would be the one to decide what’s next for her, not me because she was consecrated to God.”

They settled on Chen Xi for her Chinese name, which means “hope in the morning”.

Added Charmaine: “We wanted her to have hope every day because we know life would not be easy for her.”

The painful wait

After that, the pregnancy “felt very normal”. Eliza was an active baby who could respond to their voices and to play.

“When you call her by name, she will respond. If you tickle her, she will move. When we watched TV, we could feel her kicking,” said Charmaine.

But at 27 weeks during a routine checkup, Charmaine’s blood pressure was so high that the doctor had her admitted to the hospital for observation.

“They did a series of tests. Every test, they would find something amiss, not enough ions, not enough potassium.

“The drip for the potassium hurt. There was a burning sensation down the whole length of the vein. The drip was for hours and I had to go through it for a few days.

“A question I repeatedly asked God was, ‘Why must healing and treatment be so painful? If it is supposed to be healing, why is it so painful?’”

Charmaine had the old hymn “It is Well with My Soul” and the song “In Christ Alone” “on a loop to keep me going”.

But at Week 31, the doctor told them that Eliza had to be delivered. She had stopped growing.

Three days after Christmas, Charmaine went for a C-section. Just before she was wheeled in, she picked a middle name for Eliza – Althea. The name means “healing” or “wholesome” and represented her hope for her baby.

The first healing

Ps Jacob had to wait outside the operating theatre during the surgery. But as he did, he had “a moment that was bit magical”.

“I heard a baby cry. I thought: Cannot be my baby because my baby is supposed to be a blue baby. She cannot breathe on her own so she cannot cry.”

Just then, he saw the medical team rushing a baby towards the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). As they passed him, he asked if it was his baby. It was.

Ps Jacob and Eliza.

“She was all pink and she was crying and crying very loudly. I called out to her, ‘Eliza.’ She stopped crying and stared at me.”

That, to Ps Jacob, was the first sign of healing. In that moment, he decided that Althea would indeed be his daughter’s middle name.

Read Part 2 of Eliza’s story here.

RELATED STORIES:

“Before our baby was born, we were asked if we wanted a casket for her body”

“My womb was a morgue”: Still grappling with the loss from a miscarriage, a woman finds comfort amidst grief

“I realised caregiving is an act of worship”: Nurse who spent 20 years caring for mother and husband with stroke

The post Their unborn child had a heart defect and would have poor quality of life “but if we aborted her, she wouldn’t even have a life” appeared first on Salt&Light.

He was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD), a genetic disorder in which muscles in the body are progressively lost over time. They include muscles in the limbs, heart and lungs. 

“I felt sad when I was told that I would one day not be able to walk,” said Nicholas, recalling how his mother broke the news to him when he was seven. He is now 21.

Nicholas, around age four, before he was diagnosed with DMD.

Symptoms of DMD can show up as early as the age of two. With improved care, more people with Duchenne are living into their early 30s and beyond. The disorder is estimated to affect one out of every 3,000 male children.

Growing up with DMD

Nicholas gradually lost his ability to walk and, eventually, to stand when he was 12. 

“At first I could still run, but very slowly because my muscles were very weak. My running speed was other people’s jogging speed,” Nicholas recalled.

As the condition progressed, Nicholas noticed his muscle strength deteriorating.

“When I walk, I’d fall,” he explained.  

When he started Primary Three, Nicholas needed a wheelchair to move around school.

He remembered feeling bored every Physical Education (PE) lesson as he would sit in a corner and watch his classmates play sports. When curious friends asked why he could not participate, Nicholas remained silent, not knowing how to explain his condition.

However, the gradual degeneration gave him time to accept his loss.

“I felt less sad after I got used to it.” 

In Primary Three, Nicholas also discovered his passion and talent for drawing. It was during an art class when his teacher complimented his drawing. 

Nicholas proudly shows off a sketch he made in his favourite style – doodle art.

It gave him the confidence that he could do something well in spite of his physical limitations. 

Home away from home 

When he was eight, Nicholas, together with his sister, was placed in a children’s home due to the lack of suitable caregivers.

Nicholas and his sister with their grandmother and aunt, both now deceased, who were their main caregivers.

Not knowing how to cope with his anger and sadness, Nicholas was frequently in tears.

Yet amid the series of painful events, Nicholas experienced safety and stability at the children’s home. 

Through chapel services there, Nicholas learnt about Jesus. 

Subsequently, a few friends from the home invited him to join their weekly Bible study group and services at their church. 

There, he learnt to pray – a habit that helps him cope whenever he feels sad or angry. The group was also a safe space for him to share about his struggles.

Nicholas developed a close relationship with one of the caregivers at the home. When his money was stolen by so-called friends in secondary school, Nicholas confided in this caregiver who sought justice for him. 

More bad news

Nicholas was 15 when he discovered a lump on his body while showering. 

It grew larger in the following weeks, and Nicholas’ caregiver took him for a medical examination. 

Nicholas underwent surgery to remove the lump.

Afterwards, doctors broke the bad news that he had cancer. It was unrelated to DMD. 

He underwent chemotherapy in the hospital, and could not attend school. During this period, he was placed on home study. 

Nicholas with friends who visited him in the hospital while he was undergoing chemotherapy.

He also had difficulty sleeping as he often felt uncomfortable and anxious throughout his treatment – until one momentous encounter. 

“One day at the hospital, I saw a sun (bright light) in the room. 

“Even though the room was usually cold, I felt warm. I also felt peaceful and comfortable.

“After that, I could finally sleep well without discomfort,” he said.

Nicholas believes he had a personal encounter with God. He also believes that God was the One who healed him of cancer through the one-year treatment.

Round-the-clock care

When Nicholas was 18, the muscles in his heart and lungs had weakened to the point that he needed round-the-clock medical attention.

He was transferred to Singapore Christian Home (SCH), the only home in Singapore that provides round-the-clock care of children and young persons with chronic medical conditions.

Nicholas was 20 when he had a near-death experience.

“It was very scary. I tried to breathe but I felt there wasn’t enough oxygen,” he recalled. 

In his semi-conscious state, he vaguely registered being rushed to hospital where he was given an oxygen mask and an injection. 

“At that time I didn’t think much of the pain even though I am usually scared of needles,” he said, recalling his struggle to survive.

Nicholas was resuscitated in the nick of time.

This close call prompted Nicholas to consider the matter of death more seriously. 

Having spoken to other sufferers of muscular dystrophy, Nicholas is well aware that his disorder would eventually progress to a terminal stage.

When asked how he feels about having to face the inevitable, Nicholas paused thoughtfully before answering: “I’m more afraid of the process of dying – becoming bed-bound.

“I have seen other patients at this stage. They are unable to move and require help for all their daily activities.” 

Nicholas’ admits he fears being trapped in a paralysed body while fully conscious. 

Focusing on what he can control

Instead of dwelling on his worries, Nicholas is learning to focus on what he can control. This includes tasks and activities like drawing and playing games that he enjoys.

As for what he is unable to control, Nicholas commits it all to God. He prays, usually before bedtime, for God to sustain his health and to heal him from DMD. 

Nicholas admits that he sometimes doubts whether God will answer his prayer for physical healing. 

He also finds himself going to God with many “whys” concerning his circumstances: “Why do some people suffer more on this side of earth but everyone gets the same treatment after death? Do those who suffer more on earth get a greater reward in heaven?”

But amid these questions, Nicholas acknowledges that God has caused him to grow through his pain.

“I have learnt to cope with my emotions and become a braver person,” he said.

Even if he does not receive physical healing here on earth, Nicholas finds comfort in knowing that one day he will have a new body in heaven.

“Jesus said, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me’,” said Nicholas, reading from John 14:6,  a Bible verse that gives him hope. 

His personal experience with God during his teens helped him to have faith, and an answered prayer strengthened his trust in God.

He said: “My loved one used to be addicted to drugs. During their second time in prison, I prayed to God to help them to stop taking drugs. God answered my prayer.”  

Nicholas’ loved one has been drug-free ever since.

A new community

Nicholas did not have the opportunity to return to church after moving to Singapore Christian Home. But he heard that Tung Ling Bible School – located a stone’s throw away from the home – holds morning chapel sessions during term time.

He received special permission to attend. 

On Monday mornings, Nicholas makes his way to Tung Ling on his motorised wheelchair, with minimal assistance from SCH staff.

He enjoys the worship and the warm interaction with the students and faculty there. 

Moses Lim, an SCH staff member who interacts frequently with Nicholas, said: “Nicholas used to be very reserved and would not talk to anyone. 

“He has become a lot more open and jovial since going to Tung Ling, which is like going to church for him.

Nicholas celebrated his 21st birthday earlier this year with friends from Tung Ling. Photo by Moses Lim.

“Going to Tung Ling has also given Nicholas – who has lived in a home for 13 years – an opportunity to make friends with peers in the wider community. He enjoys being part of conversations with other adults,” said Moses, who is head of community engagement and development at SCH. 

Nicholas with young friends at Tung Ling. Photo by Moses Lim.

During his free time, Nicholas reads the Bible guided by Moses and volunteers.

He is encouraged by Bible verses that remind him that he needs God. 

He treasures John 15:5,“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Gifted to give

Since learning about Nicholas’ passion for drawing, SCH has been brainstorming ways to help Nicholas turn his artwork into merchandise for sale.

During a conversation Moses had with a volunteer who is passionate about helping Nicholas, a similar topic surfaced. 

“This was a confirmation of the SCH care team’s idea for a collaborative project. The conversation gave us the final push,” he related.

“We hope that this project will give Nicholas a sense of dignity and financial independence, as he transits into adulthood,” said Moses, who is spearheading the project.

It is SCH’s first attempt raising funds through the sale of merchandise: 30% of the proceeds will go to Nicholas to help pay his bills at the home and to support his family. 

Since March 2024, Nicholas has been working on an illustration for the first product which is set to be launched in the first quarter of 2025. He is now halfway to completing it.

Nicholas draws using his tablet which enables him to sketch with less effort. It was one of the first things he bought with his own money on his 21st birthday and is a symbol of his independence.

“I kept getting sick and have not been able to finish the work,” said Nicholas, who attended a three-month graphic design course in early 2024, and now goes for practice sessions at an adult learning institution.

However, as DMD progresses, Nicholas is gradually losing muscle strength in his hands and feels easily tired when he draws. 

When asked how he copes, Nicholas replied calmly: “I slowly take my time.”

He takes a break every 15 minutes. 

“Sometimes I just continue even though I am tired. It is one of the few things I like to do,” he said, adding that he hopes to make the most out of each moment while he is still able to do what he likes. 

He is unfazed by his pace, steadily returning to drawing whenever he feels better, motivated by his passion for art and his desire to make a positive contribution to the home. 

Nicholas, working on his project with SCH. He uses traditional paper and pencil to draw as he is still learning to master the technique of sketching with the tablet.

Empowered by this opportunity to contribute, Nicholas hopes that his work can encourage others with disabilities to discover their gifts and potential to give. 

Nicholas, 21, is the oldest person in his ward. He teaches the younger ones to play Nintendo switch games. Photo courtesy of Singapore Christian Home.

“Don’t focus on something you cannot do, but do something you can do,” Nicholas said, quoting Nick Vujicic, the Australian-American motivational speaker and evangelist who grew up without arms and legs.

A version of this story first appeared on Stories of Hope.

About Singapore Christian Home

Singapore Christian Home (SCH) is a 240-bed nursing home that has been serving chronically ill patients from all races, religions and social economic status since 1960. Known for accepting difficult and challenging cases that are generally refused by other institutions, SCH is also the only nursing home in Singapore with a dedicated ward for medically-fragile children and young persons. 

Click here if you would like to find out more, donate or volunteer with SCH.

Or give here towards the care of Nicholas and other SCH residents with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.

Singapore Christian Home is an Institution of a Public Character (IPC). All qualifying donations (above $20) are eligible for a 250% tax deduction.

RELATED STORIES:

“Hope is a choice and our hope is in the Lord”: Chew Chor Meng and wife Deon

Three children with fatal genetic disorder, yet David Lang sees God’s sovereignty

Breaking away from 3 generations of abuse and drugs, a young girl finds love in a children’s home

The post Born with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, this young artist’s muscles are weak but his faith is strong appeared first on Salt&Light.

Steve (standing) with his wife Priscilla and only son Shawn in China where he worked for 10 years until he returned to Singapore in 2008.

Then, in 2008, he received news that his mother back in Singapore was gravely ill and needed a complicated heart operation. Unless she went for the procedure, which would give her another 15 years or so, she would have but three months to live. She was 70 at the time.

“My mother was concerned that if she passed on, she won’t be able to see me, my wife and my son. She insisted that we come back or she won’t have the operation,” said Steve, now 63.

Within a month of receiving the news, Steve returned to Singapore with his family. He knew it would be for the long haul because he had to stay till his mother fully recovered. His company could not spare him for that long, so he quit his job. He had been in China for a decade.

Steve (third from left) with his family and his parents (third and fourth from right) at a family gathering.

“We were taken aback (by what happened). But we were trained not to question God. We just asked Him what His plan for us was.

“He didn’t let us know a direction then. It was like a test of faith. He just said, ‘You just wait and see.’”

“What if you die tomorrow?”

Shortly after their return, global financial services firm Lehman Brothers declared bankruptcy, triggering a domino effect that led to the 2008 global financial crisis.

It was in this climate that Steve started looking for a job. He sent out 21 applications but was offered nothing. As he was asking God: “What is Your plan for me?”, he met an ex-colleague who had become a property agent. It dawned on him that he could be a property agent, too.

Steve was a basketball player cum coach in his youth. He still plays today.

He did not know it then, but coming home and becoming a property agent would turn out to be a blessing.

Two years passed. One night while trying to get into the bathtub, Steve slipped and fell. He had taken flu medication and had become drowsy.

The next morning, he found himself trembling for no reason and wondered if it was related to the fall.

“I felt a prompting – on hindsight it was God’s prompting – to go to the A&E.”

A CT scan revealed that while there was no injury to Steve’s spine, there was a 4cm lump on the surface of his brain. He had to be admitted to hospital.

“I was panicking. I had never been so sick before. This was the first time I heard about a brain tumour. Everything went blank.

“Fear gripped me. My mother’s condition was still serious and she needed someone to take care of her. Would I be a burden to her? Could my wife manage? My son hadn’t even gone to NS (National Service) yet. My wife also got a shock.

“I told God, ‘God, help me.’”

Just the day before, Steve had been talking to some youths from church and he had asked them: “What if tomorrow you die?”

Now this question echoed in his heart.

The comfort from God  

The doctor who explained Steve’s condition to him told him the situation was “very serious”. There was no telling why the tumour was in the brain. But it had to be removed.

Steve also needed to be transferred to a hospital with the equipment to remove the tumour. He opted to go to Tan Tock Seng Hospital.

“On hindsight, I think God directed me because the doctor who ended up treating me was the head of the Neurology Department.”

Meanwhile, as Priscilla prayed for Steve, she had a vision of a powerful right hand waving at three eaglets, urging them to soar. She knew the birds represented Steve, herself and their son.

His wife and son were his main concern when Steve was told he had a tumour in his brain.

As she searched the Bible to understand the symbols that she saw, she chanced upon Isaiah 41:10 and Isaiah 40:31. The verses explained exactly the vision she had seen.

Steve is especially grateful to his wife Priscilla who has truly been with him in sickness and in health.

“She was so amazed and it settled her fear. When she came to the hospital and shared it with me, I felt encouraged,” said Steve.

The wisdom behind “wait and see”

When they opened up Steve’s skull to remove the tumour, they discovered it measured 4.7cm, larger than they had first thought. It was non-cancerous but aggressive, meaning it was a fast-growing tumour.

Steve on the day of discharge after his first brain surgery.

The spot the tumour sat on was where the brain controls the limbs, which was why Steve had been trembling. After the surgery, he had to go for rehabilitation to learn to walk again. For the next four months, he was in a wheelchair. He could not work and required his wife to care for him.

“But I was grateful to be alive. I told God, ‘No more tumours.’”

Steve had to undergo physiotherapy to regain the use of his legs after the surgery.

Steve believes that being back in Singapore was a blessing because it gave him access to better healthcare. The switch to a more flexible work schedule as a property agent allowed him to concentrate on his health as well.

God had told him to “wait and see” when he returned to Singapore. Steve was beginning to see the wisdom behind the move.

Healed to be an encourager

His doctor told Steve that he would need to go for an MRI scan every three months for the next decade. Less than a year after removing the first brain tumour, they found another one measuring about 2.5cm during a routine scan.

This time, radiation was recommended because it was too soon after the first brain surgery to undergo another operation.

Steve with the team of healthcare workers in charge of his radiation treatment.

“When it (the tumour) came back, I asked God, ‘What is Your purpose for allowing me to go through this?’ The first time I asked Him this, He said nothing.

“This time, I began to understand that He allowed me to go through this so I can be more compassionate to fellow sufferers.”

After his first operation, many people in church came up to talk to him. Some had similar tumours, others had loved ones who had tumours. One senior he knew shared about his brain tumour. Until then Steve had not known that he had the same condition.

People from church came to support Steve.

“Having gone through it myself, I could encourage them to be strong, that God would definitely carry us through.”

Not over at all

After the successful treatment of the second tumour, regular scans would reveal nothing more for nearly four years.

“I thought it was over.”

In July 2016, Steve had just returned from sending his son to the airport when he collapsed from a seizure. At the time, Shawn was studying in Melbourne.

“I had this feeling that I was slowly shrinking and then I blacked out.”

Priscilla thought it was a heart attack. But a scan discovered a 4cm tumour in the brain. It was too large to be removed by radiation, so another brain surgery was required. This time, his doctor’s successor operated on him. This doctor would go on to be the Group CEO of SingHealth.

“How blessed am I,” said Steve, marvelling at how he managed to get one of the best neurosurgeons on his case.

Since then, every year or so, they would discover a tumour, sometimes two, in Steve’s brain. After the second radiation, it was deemed that surgery was the better course of action. So he has had to have five more brain surgeries.

It has been a 13-year journey.

Steve with his surgeon Professor PL Ong.

With every surgery would come a period of up to six months of recovery during which Steve would have to go through rehabilitation to strengthen his limbs.

“There is nothing you can do. You can’t control it. Why not leave it to God? He has prepared me from faith to faith,” Steve told Salt&Light when asked how he lives with the many re-surfacing brain tumours.

“The concern will be there: What happens if this is my last time? What will happen to my family? But not to the extent like the first time when I freaked out.”

Blessings still

Through it all, Steve can still see many blessings. When they were removing his sixth tumour in 2021, they decided to leave a smaller tumour alone: They could see it on the scan but were not sure of its exact location.

As a result, the surgery was a shorter one and Steve was discharged within three days. On the day of his discharge, Singapore went into lockdown.

In the hospital, Steve would read the Bible and sing worship songs every morning.

“If I had taken out both (tumours), I would have stayed longer in the hospital and been stuck there.”

Five months later, doctors discovered that the tumour they had left behind had grown. Steve needed another surgery. When they opened him up, they found a cyst in his brain that did not show up in scans.

“This was a blessing because the cyst would have remained there and I might have had a stroke.

“God knew ahead of time. He let me remove one tumour so that in the second operation they could discover the cyst.”

Faith lessons

Each time Steve discovered a new brain tumour, his first thought would be for his family. Then God taught him to let that worry go.

His son Shawn’s walk with God was of great concern to Steve and he is thankful God allowed him to see his son grow in the faith.

From the time his son was 17, Steve had been encouraging him to get baptised. His son had refused. While studying in Melbourne, he was invited to a church and, within three months, was baptised. Now 33, he is actively serving in his church.

In 2018, Steve and Priscilla (centre row, in white) joined their son at a Melbourne church conference.

“I cast my care on the Lord. It is not I who is taking care of them. It is God,” said Steve of his family.

At the last scan just before the Salt&Light interview, they found three tumours in Steve’s brain, each measuring only about 1cm. He will need another brain surgery soon.

Though the tumours keep appearing, Steve is thankful that he can still live a normal life. He can walk, although he needs hiking sticks to keep him steady. Driving is no longer on the cards but he can still travel . He eats and sleeps well, and can even hold down a job. In fact, this year was a “year of abundance”: He closed four deals.

“I have a lot of life. When I do this testimony, I am very thankful to God when I look back.

Steve posts Bible verses with photographs or videos through each of the times he recovered from the procedures as a way to testify of God’s goodness. He has more than 600 posts.

“God is still good all the time. We still don’t believe it is from God. But we cannot only accept the good and not allow the bad things.

“Ultimately, we are all sinners. We are all living in this day of grace.”

RELATED STORIES:

At 63, he had Stage 4 lung cancer that spread to his brain, but survived to tell his story

This Secondary Two boy had a dream the night before he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. One year later, the dream was fulfilled

“I am a dead man walking”: He was pronounced dead by four doctors

The post Brain surgery after brain surgery, tumours keep coming back, but “God is still good all the time” appeared first on Salt&Light.

At first, Rev Paul Tan thought it was simply something he ate that did not agree with him.

Then came the fever which burnt hotter and hotter, reaching 41 degrees Celsius at one point. Convulsions followed. When it “became very bad” after two days, Rev Tan dragged himself to the general practitioner.

Rev Tan was ordained as an Anglican minister in 1991. He retired nine years ago and has been an auxiliary priest at St George’s Church in the last five years.

“He saw me walking with difficulty and said to go straight away to the A&E,” said Rev Tan, 69, an auxiliary priest at St George’s Church.   

But the hospital sent him home, declaring that there was “no bacteria” in his blood test.

At home, Rev Tan only got sicker. Over the next few days, the high fever persisted, the shaking intensified and he could not keep food down. He became severely dehydrated and began hallucinating.

Worse symptoms were to follow.

“I was flat out on the bed, immobilised. I couldn’t move. There was pain from my waist to my toes. Everywhere I turned, there was pain.”

When he could not pass urine properly and there was blood in his urine, his wife Maureen called for an ambulance.

“On the way to the hospital, I was in so much pain they needed to give me extra cushions to support me.”

Infections all around

To resolve the most immediate problem of urinary retention, the doctor inserted a catheter. When Rev Tan’s bladder was drained, they found pus in his urine.

Tests were run and soon a diagnosis emerged. Bacteria had entered his bloodstream. The strain of bacteria was a common one usually responsible for causing pneumonia. But the doctor did not know how it ended up in the blood.

More tests ensued to check his eyes, brain, heart and kidneys to see if the bacteria had infected any of the organs. His eyes and brain were fine, but they found that he had suffered a mild heart attack and there was pus in his kidneys.

In addition, the terrible pain that radiated from his back down his legs was the result of the bacteria attacking his spinal cord and causing two large nerves in the area to swell and press against his spine.

Divine interventions

The situation was dire but at several points, Rev Tan saw God’s intervention.

First, he managed to avoid surgery to his spine. The doctors had called his family in early one morning for an emergency meeting. The plan had been to operate on Rev Tan for fear that further compression on his spine would cause permanent paralysis.

But when the Head of the orthopaedic department reviewed the situation, he prescribed antibiotics instead. For five months, Rev Tan was on antibiotics, at first administered intravenously and then via daily pills.

Next, Rev Tan discovered that one of the doctors caring for him was someone he and his wife knew when she was a little girl.

“Many years ago, we were running a dormitory in Singapore for children of missionaries. She stayed with us and now she is a consultant in Internal Medicine.”

The ties they developed years ago allowed Maureen to get regular updates of Rev Tan’s condition so the church, and their relatives and friends could pray for him.

Another divine “coincidence” happened when a lung specialist happened to be walking by while Rev Tan’s doctor was discussing his case with a colleague. When the specialist heard about his symptoms, he immediately asked for Rev Tan’s lungs to be checked.

“That’s how they found a patch of pus floating above my lungs. They wouldn’t have suspected anything otherwise because none of the MRI scans checked the lungs.”

The discovery allowed the doctors to drain the pus by inserting a tube into Rev Tan’s body and suctioning out the pus. The tube remained in Rev Tan for a whole month, which was how long it took to drain everything away. Had that condition been left untreated, it would have led to septicemia and then death.

“Forgive me, a sinner”

During the long days and nights when he was laid up in the hospital, unable to move, stricken with a raging fever, and connected to various tubes – to drain urine and pus above his lungs, and to administer antibiotics to reduce the infection in his spine – Rev Tan prayed.

He did not ask God for healing. He did not ask God why he was suffering.

Rev Tan about to be discharged after 75 days in the hospital.

“I was repenting. I told God, ‘I am a sinner and I need Your help, please. Forgive me, please. Have mercy on me.’”

Asked if, at any point then, he was afraid of dying, Rev Tan said: “My wife and I both came to a point where we said, ‘Well, I have done whatever I can for God in this life. If this is the time for us to say goodbye, I’m ready, we’re ready.’

“That’s why we didn’t ask, ‘Why?’”

He did wonder, though, given the severity of his condition, if he would emerge healthy and whole.

“God gave me assurance. A lot of times when I am alone, encouragement comes through worship music because that is what I have to occupy my time.”  

“Just As I Am” by Fernando Ortega and “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle were two songs that spoke to him the most.

“It was like sending out an SOS to God.”

Prayers and encouragement all around

Maureen was the earthly pillar of support that saw Rev Tan through “the worst sickness” he had ever had. Rev Tan spent a month and a half at the acute hospital and another month at a rehabilitation hospital learning to walk again. Through the time he was in the acute hospital, Maureen was by his side. 

Rev Tan with his wife Maureen (second from right) who was his pillar of strength and prayer warrior during his illness.

“She never went home. She would pray for me and give the church updates of my condition. I thank God for her faith that carried me through.”

Friends and church members also stood by Rev Tan. Even though he could barely sit up, he was cheered by their visits and the food, prayers and words of encouragement that they brought with them.

When a member of the church found out that Rev Tan’s haemoglobin levels were low, she brought him a steak. His church even organised a Zoom prayer meeting to intercede for him.

The ordeal left Rev Tan 10kg lighter. He continued to have lingering pain in his back, weakness on his left side and numbness in his toes.

Having been healed, Rev Tan is determined to continue serving God for the rest of his life.

“There is a permanent scar in the spine so there is stiffness that causes backaches in certain positions.

“The nerves on my left side have not fully grown back so there is a weakness in my left leg. I can walk but if I am suddenly pushed, I will topple.”

But all these are minor side effects as far as Rev Tan is concerned.

“Now I realise God’s sovereignty and God’s plan, that no matter how, God is still in charge.

“And since I have been given time, I can give glory to God.”

RELATED STORIES:

In a coma and dying, she saw visions that readied her for life without limbs when she awoke

“I told God, ‘You can take my life but my son is too young’”: A father and his toddler face death one after another

The health scare that inspired an organisation to celebrate challenges

The post Deadly bacteria put him in hospital for 75 days; he didn’t ask God for a reason, but for forgiveness appeared first on Salt&Light.

On a drive in Malaysia, Raymond Wong would try to move off without releasing the car’s handbrakes.

When told to take the exit on the left while on the highway, he had to think hard about which way left was.

“I thought maybe it was due to age that he was starting to forget things,” said his wife, Jezamine.

Raymond and Jezamine (right) with friends in Kuala Lumpur.

That was two years ago when both were 63.

But when Raymond suddenly could not lift up his left leg to walk while they were at the airport in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, the couple became concerned.

“It was like jelly legs. I had to hold him up and look for a doctor in the airport to confirm that he was fit to fly home,” said Jezamine.

They managed to get on the flight. The next day, they went to see a general practitioner who suspected that Raymond had had a mild stroke. The doctor referred Raymond to the hospital.

It took a whole day before they managed to get Raymond a slot for an MRI scan. Then came the bad news: There was a tumour in his brain, and white spots in his lungs.

The bad news   

The diagnosis was Stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer with brain metastasis.

The tumour in his brain, which measured about 5cm, was pressing on the area responsible for memories. To save Raymond’s memory, an immediate operation was required.

Said Jezamine: “It was going to be a complicated, high-risk surgery. Worse is if it touches a nerve near the part of the brain that takes care of memories. Then there would be loss of memory.”

When their children – a 32-year-old daughter living in Korea and a 22-year-old son studying in the United Kingdom – video-called Raymond, he could recognise them but could not remember their names.

Their daughter (centre with baby) could not come home to be with Raymond because she had just had a baby when Raymond needed surgery.

The Wongs told their son, who was studying abroad at the time, not to come home for the procedure.

While Jezamine is typically a self-described “kancheong spider” (an anxious person), she felt surprisingly calm about the news.

It was only the night before the operation that she finally broke down.

She recalled: “I really cried out to the Lord. I tussled with God, ‘Why did this happen?’”

Not alone

That was when Jezamine recalled God’s goodness to them over the years.

Back in 1998, she had been retrenched at the peak of her career. Though shaken, she and Raymond prayed in faith for God’s providence. She later received five job offers.

In March 2008, she was sent to work in Singapore. The family moved with her from their home in Malaysia, and Raymond gave up his job to care for their children.

Within months of their move, the Lehman Brothers declared bankruptcy, sending the world into a financial tailspin. Jezamine, now the sole breadwinner, feared for their family’s livelihood. But her job remained secure.

Even in their current ordeal, God’s goodness was already evident.

With both her children abroad, Jezamine would have been alone at the time of the operation. But coincidentally, her niece was sent to Singapore for a week-long meeting. Her nephew also returned for a business meeting. She had family around her.

Christian friends who knew of Raymond’s condition also sent her verses to bring her comfort.

The Wongs’ friends from church, Covenant Evangelical Free Church (Woodlands), gathering to pray for Raymond’s surgery after the worship service.

“It is important when we are in crisis to learn to cling to Him. When you read the verses, you really, really feel your faith strengthened,” said Jezamine.

In fact, their prayer support extended well beyond Singapore.

Shortly before the discovery of Raymond’s cancer, the Wongs had traveled to Canada for a reunion to reconnect with friends Jezamine had made during her Christian Fellowship days there some 40 years earlier.

They came from all over the world – Australia, New Zealand, Germany, the United States and Malaysia. When Raymond was hospitalised, Jezamine asked all of them to pray for her husband. 

Raymond and Jezamine (right) at the meet-up in Canada. These friends from all over the world ended up being their prayer warriors.

When Raymond was in hospital, cell group friends also brought Jezamine food and ordered ride-sharing cars for her commutes.

Close friends visiting Raymond before the surgery.

A new friend from their cell group also happened to work at the hospital. Her office was in the same area as the operating theatre, and she and Jezamine managed to meet on the morning of Raymond’s operation to pray together.

The Wongs and their cell group friend met at 7.30am on the morning of the surgery to pray for Raymond.

Jezamine knew she was not alone.

“At the end of the night, I calmed down because I knew it is in God’s hands,” she said.

The Lord who heals  

The brain surgery took eight hours. Raymond regained consciousness just one hour after the procedure. Daily radiation therapy followed for the next five days.

Raymond was awake just one hour after the brain surgery.

“It was just five minutes each time. I didn’t feel anything,” said Raymond.

While the tumour in his brain was successfully removed, there was still cancer in his lungs. Raymond neither smoked nor drank. How did he end up with lung cancer? A PET scan revealed that it was simply the way his cells mutated – a phenomenon common among Asians.

Raymond was prescribed medication to inhibit the mutation. Within three months, the tumour in his lung shrank from 3cm to 2cm. Almost 10 months in, the tumour is now 1cm. No new growths have also been detected.

His memory also slowly returned. It is now almost what it used to be.

Strange dreams

Weeks after the operation, Jezamine found out that her husband had been rescued from more than his physical afflictions.

For a few nights before his brain operation, Raymond had experienced interrupted sleep and strange dreams, something that the couple think might be spiritual attacks.

“I dreamt of a religious person of another religion who always said, ‘Join me, join me.’ There was also another dream of a church and a pastor asking me to join them,” recalled Raymond.

“I didn’t tell my wife because I didn’t want to get her worried.”

The Wongs in Vancouver, Canada in 2023.

The day before the operation, Jezamine brought Raymond an audio Bible to listen to and also offered to play him some Christian music. He rejected both her offers.

Jezamine found it strange. That was uncharacteristic of Raymond, a long-time Christian and cell group leader.

Even after he came home from the hospital, Raymond remained resistant. When she tried to understand his reluctance, he finally told her about the recurrent dreams he had had in the hospital.

They decided to pray and renounce whatever influence the dreams may have had over Raymond. After the prayer, he returned to normal.

“When we are weak, things can happen. But you can see our God is stronger. He can help us to fight back,” said Jezamine.

A testimony to tell

Though the entire episode remains hazy for Raymond, one memory stands out.

“For many days in the hospital I would look out of the window and see a tree. One day before I was discharged, I was looking out of the window,” he said.

“That day, I saw a bird on the tree. It was colourful. It just sat in the tree looking at me. For many hours, it rested there. I believe God must have sent it there to give me comfort.”

The entire experience – physical and spiritual – has impacted the couple’s faith.

Jezamine and Raymond in South Korea in 2024.

“This has been a faith journey that the two of us have gone through,” said Jezamine.

“This is really a personal encounter. When nothing hits you, you just read the verse. When you are down in the valley, you really cling to His promises.”

Verses about God as a rock and refuge (Psalm 18:2-12), a restorer of health and a healer (Jeremiah 30:17, Jeremiah 17:14) and a protector (Psalm 91:1-4) have become all the more real to them.

Jezamine had also set up a WhatsApp chat group to update family and friends on Raymond’s condition. This channel has become a platform for the couple to share God’s Word with their pre-believing loved ones.

“Now when I update my relatives, I send a song, a verse and God is in the family chat whether they are Christian or not,” said Raymond.

“I always believe that God allows such things so that in the future I can share the experience with those who are going through the same situation as me.

“I’ve become more bold in sharing the Gospel and God’s mercy. Now I have my own story to tell, my own testimony.”

RELATED STORIES:

This Secondary Two boy had a dream the night before he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. One year later, the dream was fulfilled

“I am a dead man walking”: He was pronounced dead by four doctors

An accident so horrific, he lost half his brain, his memory and the life he thought he’d have

The post At 63, he had Stage 4 lung cancer that spread to his brain, but survived to tell his story appeared first on Salt&Light.

On that morning of April 25 last year, James Tan, 79, discovered he was having problems lifting his hand to shift the gears of his car.

Suspecting that he had just had a stroke, he took a taxi straight to hospital where an MRI scan of his brain was done.

But the results of the scan showed that James did not have a stroke.

There were suspicions that maybe he was coming down with Parkinson’s due to old age, but the doctors could not come to a conclusive diagnosis.

After 11 days, James was discharged from the hospital.

“I had to use a walking stick to support myself. During this time, I felt my hands and legs getting weaker with each day,” said James, who used to work in logistics.

“Help, I can’t get out of bed” 

On the morning of May 14, a week later, James woke up to find that he could not even get out of bed himself.

“It was scary. I couldn’t stand up or lift my hands beyond my chest,” recalled James, who was wheeled into hospital and re-admitted that day.  

Over the next two weeks, strength left his body. He lost the ability to use both of his hands, then his legs, in rapid succession.

Once an active man, James suddenly found himself paralysed from the neck down.

Suddenly, the once active man – who walked 5km on the treadmill daily ­– was bedridden. Bit by bit, he lost his ability to do mundane every day tasks that he had always performed without thinking: sitting up, brushing his teeth, cleaning himself up.

It also dawned on James that he could not even use his phone to do his daily Bible reading.

Doctors told him it was a nerve conduction disorder but they could not come up with a precise diagnosis nor a treatment plan.

Paralysed from the neck down, James could only pray unceasingly.

“I prayed for healing by claiming His promises in Isaiah 53:4-5. I asked God if this illness would end in death but I did not receive any answer,” said James, who serves actively in Barker Road Methodist Church.

Every night, his daughter Donna would read the Psalms to him by his hospital bed.

James listening to an audio Bible that his children set up for him.

Nurses in the ward at Tan Tock Seng recognised him as the patient who continually grasped a small wooden cross in his right hand – the only thing he could do then.

Paralysed from the neck down, James could not do anything but to clutch the Cross in his right hand.

Even then, there were many times when the cross slipped out of his loosening grasp and the nurses would pick it up to put it back into his hand again or tape it on his hospital gown.

“I have been taught to always look to the Cross so naturally I clung on to it. It reminds me of the healing that is available because of what Christ has done for us on the Cross,” said James.

However, he hit rock bottom on May 30. He could not talk and had difficulty breathing.

The day before, a feeding tube had been inserted as his throat muscles were paralysed and there was risk of food going down into his lungs if he tried swallowing. 

His family rostered themselves to tend to him till late at night as they were worried if he could not get the help that he needed. James had become so weak that he could not even press the call button to summon the nurses.

His doctors raced against time to find a diagnosis but a battery of tests all came back negative.

To pray for healing or a gentle passing? 

Some of his family members also did not know how to pray for him.

“Some felt that since he was suffering and no longer had a good quality of life, they prayed for relief of suffering for him.

“But others, like me, felt that if God wants to heal, He can. So we prayed for healing and for illumination for the medical team to determine the next steps,” said Donna, who is the deputy director of clinical services at the National Healthcare Group Polyclinics.

She added that some pastors from their church, such as Rev Benjamin Fong and Rev Dr Daniel Koh, also came by to serve Holy Communion and seemingly do the “last rites” for him.

Pastor Benjamin from Barker Road Methodist Church visited James in hospital.

Another visit by Pastor Daniel.

As for James, he did not feel any panic or fear.

“Honestly, I had no fear from Day One. I was prepared to go home to be with the Lord. I was more concerned about being in this physical state for the rest of my life as I don’t want to be a burden to my three daughters,” he said.

While he trusted in God and prayed for healing, James was already grateful whatever remaining time he had on earth. After all, this was not his first brush with death.

“Give me 15 more years to live”

In 2007, after he collapsed at a golf course, his doctor confirmed that he had stage 2 colon cancer. Despite undergoing surgery, sepsis set in and 700ml of water was found in his lungs. Then, James pleaded with God for healing and asked Him for an extension of his life.

“Based on 2 Kings 20:5-6 where God heard Hezekiah’s prayer when he was deathly ill and granted 15 more years of life, I asked God for the same,” said James, who subsequently recovered.

Fifteen years later, in 2022, James encountered another health crisis. He was admitted into hospital after being infected by COVID and later transferred to the Intensive Care Unit when his condition worsened. Being a renal patient, he had to undergo dialysis during his hospital stay.

“During dialysis in hospital, I had three heart attacks. I thought my time had come to return to the Lord, as it was the 15th year then,” said James, in reference to the 15-year extension God granted King Hezekiah (2 Kings 20). Fortunately, by God’s mercy, James pulled through. 

This time, even though he laid paralysed from the neck down on the hospital bed, his mind was still conscious and active.

He used the time he had to talk to God.

“I prayed for healing for myself, and prayed for my family and friends. Each time I spoke with Him, I found comfort and peace that could only come from Him,” said James.

Thrice a week, he also continued to receive dialysis treatment while he was paralysed in hospital.

There were also times when he would simply observe the various nurses who tended to him.

“He would make a mental note of which nurse did something well, to tell it to us when we came to visit, so that we could help send emails of affirmation to the hospital team to encourage them,” said Donna.  

During that period, many people from his family and church community also interceded for James in prayer.

Two weeks after his muscles weakened so much that he could neither speak nor breathe well, he began noticing a twitch in his right hand. He realised that he could move it slowly.

“You are healing me,” James whispered to God, with joy and gratitude in his heart.

“I took it as a confirmation that God was telling me that I would not die. I grew stronger in my faith and kept praying for complete healing and restoration. I lived one day at a time knowing that Father God would do something for me,” he told Salt&Light.

About two to three days later, James found that he could shift his right leg slightly. Another few days later, he could do the same with his left leg.

One week later, he could move his left fingers, though he still could not lift his left hand up.

Slowly but surely, strength was returning to his body, one limb at a time.

By the end of June, James could start holding up an electric toothbrush on his own to brush his teeth.

James using an electric toothbrush on his right hand in his hospital bed.

Finally diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease 

It was also around that time that the doctors decided to test for a rare autoimmune disease called paranodopathy, and James tested positive. Prevalence studies show it affects only one in every million persons, and its cause still unknown.

With the knowledge of this diagnosis, doctors could start James on a more targeted treatment. He was given an immunosuppressant — medication that suppresses the immune system.

With this autoimmune disease, early treatment can improve outcomes and minimise the risk of long-term disability.

“Unfortunately, my father was only diagnosed two months later. Thus, the rehabilitation potential was expectedly poor for my frail elderly dad who has end-stage renal failure, heart failure and bone marrow dysfunction,” noted Donna.  

Two days before James began receiving treatment, he had a noteworthy dream.

In the dream, he saw a duck running very fast, apparently because it was being chased by a predator. Above the duck was an eagle and it suddenly dived down and scooped the duck up with its wings, instead of using its powerful talons.

“I felt God was showing me that I may be vulnerable in the world but I was to take heart because I have Him, my sovereign, all-powerful God who would protect me,” said James.

Specifically, the dream reminded him of the verses in Exodus 19:4 where it was God who “carried (His people) on eagles’ wings” and brought them to Himself.

“I was comforted that God was saving me and drawing me to Himself through this paralysis episode,” he added.

In the days and weeks that followed, James continued to see rapid progress in the healing of his body.

Post-dream, the once bedridden man took a literal step of faith and realised he could stand up with support.

By the third week of July, he was moving around with a walking aid.

A week later, his fine motor movements were restored. He began personally writing notes to the nurses to thank them for caring for him.

James’ handwritten note of appreciation for the nurses

It was nothing short of a miracle. In just over two months, a once paralysed patient had begun walking again, with support. 

“I have no answer as to why healing was so fast. Father God has poured forth His amazingly love, grace and mercy upon me,” said James.

His doctors were also amazed at the speed of his recovery, so much so that a neurologist has told his family that he intended to cite James as a case study for a medical journal.

Hospital nurses gave James a warm farewell when he was discharged to the community rehabilitation centre.

After being warded for 84 days in the hospital, James was discharged to the Tan Tock Seng Rehabilitation Centre on July 27.

He stayed at the centre for a month to undergo various forms of therapy exercises, from physiotherapy to occupational therapy to speech therapy.

It was painful hard work for James but he was diligent in cooperating with the therapists. When he was discharged from the centre, he continued to do the therapy exercises by himself at home.

James’ progressive recovery: From barely clutching his cross to cutting his own nails.

One of the biggest challenges he faced was in passing the swallowing tests administered by his speech therapist.

His body was gaining strength daily, but he was still tube-fed at the time.

“I was eager to have the tube removed. Though I worked so hard on the exercises, I still failed the swallowing tests, and I was terribly discouraged. I wondered if I was that useless,” said James.

Nonetheless, he waited on God and trusted Him for complete healing.

As part of therapy, James helps to prepare meals at home.

On December 6 last year, his feeding tube was finally taken out. He could have milk and pureed food orally after that.

By January this year, James was back on his feet, able to walk without any support.

Formerly paralysed, James regained his ability to walk again in January 2024.

By April, he had resumed most of the daily activities that he did prior to being paralysed. He went back to the gym, led Bible study for his church group and recommenced marketing and cooking for his children and grandchildren.

Back on his feet now, James diligently does his exercises daily.

For James’ son-in-law, fund manager Daniel Long, it was not the healing miracle that was the “wow” moment for him.

“The ‘wow’ moment was seeing my father-in law take steps of faith every day in pushing limits. He matched God’s progressive healing with the resolve to make the most of every breath afforded to him. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, it was a blessing to witness him thanking God for the incremental improvements,” said Daniel.  

James on the plane to Penang in June 2024 with his son-in-law Daniel and two daughters, Donna (in pink) and Fiona.

James said: “I don’t know why God rescued me from the clutches of death three times. I do not know why this illness of paralysis fell upon me. But I believe that in all things, His will be done. For those who are waiting for their healing, don’t give up hope.  

“I believe in God’s divine healing power, and in His sovereignty. All the days of our lives are in His hands. Let’s trust in His goodness as we live one day at a time.”

RELATED STORIES: 

Terrorised by spirits at night, she was at the end of her tether – until God met her in a club

Don’t say “I know how you feel”: Here’s how to be really present for someone who is grieving

“If you heal me, Hallelujah. If you don’t heal me, also Hallelujah”

The post Suddenly paralysed due to a rare condition, he was miraculously back on his feet after two months appeared first on Salt&Light.

Sabrina Goh was busy at work, but the pain was “a bit alarming”, she recalled. She made an appointment to have it checked two weeks later.

While she was waiting for her appointment, she didn’t think it was cancer. “Every cell in me proclaimed that it was not cancer,” she said. 

The day came and Sabrina got her scans done. Within 15 minutes, she received a call from her doctor. 

“She said, ‘It’s really bad.”

“Is it a cyst?”

Sabrina, 40, an award-winning fashion designer of her eponymous label SABRINAGOH, had been conscious of breast cancer from early on, as it ran in her family.

“Four of six of my aunts on my father’s side have had breast cancer,” she told Salt&Light.

She had been going for breast ultrasounds every two years. These were usually uneventful: At most, the scans would show a lumpy breast.

Sabrina with her husband Jason and son Joshua at church during its Candlelight service in December 2021.

This time, in April 2021, being told there was a suspicious mass was hard for Sabrina to accept. She was only 37, and the mother of a two-year-old boy.

“Something was not right, but I still hoped,” she said. “I asked my doctor, ‘Is it a cyst?’

“She said, ‘This one cannot be cyst. We have to do a biopsy.”

In early May 2021, the biopsy results came out: There was a cluster of three masses that stretched across 16cm, and the cancer was HER2-positive.

“My heart sank,” she recalled. “My husband Jason let out a very long sigh. I felt he was more stressed than me.”

The cancer was too big for the surgeon to operate on, so Sabrina had to undergo chemotherapy to shrink the mass before surgery. She chose the earliest slot available.

Given that it was a sizeable mass, there was concern that the cancer had spread so her doctor sent her for CT scans. 

That was the first piece of good news: The scans revealed that the cancer had not spread, but was localised in the right breast. 

“Looking back, it could only be God,” she said.

Sabrina looked for various ways to style her look during chemo so that she could still go out.

The journey had its challenges: Her first time with chemo was not easy. “I had fever, my head was spinning, I was in bed for three days. I had no sense of taste.”

But miraculously, that was the worst of it. “After that, I didn’t experience any symptoms, apart from hair loss.”

After three months and six rounds of chemotherapy, she went for surgery: A mastectomy of her right breast followed by reconstruction using her latissimus dorsi (tissue from the back). This was followed by radiation.

Alone, in pain

For many cancer patients, chemo is the worst part. For Sabrina, it was going into surgery alone and being alone in hospital, and radiation.

“It was during the COVID period, and hospitals didn’t allow visitors,” she recalled. “So I went to hospital by myself to go through surgery.

“It was a weird feeling — a lot of things run through your mind.

“This was my first major surgery and I was by myself, and it was scary. I worried about many wu liao (silly) things, like, ‘What if the anaesthestic didn’t work and I could feel pain? Or what if my throat constricted and they couldn’t put in the breathing tube?” she said, laughing at the memory.

When she came out of surgery, she had to endure the pain and recover without company. 

But although she was by herself physically, Sabrina knew she was not alone spiritually. 

Leaning on God

When Sabrina received news of her diagnosis, “I didn’t feel angry towards God. I didn’t feel it (cancer) was from God either,” she told Salt&Light.

Sabrina made a list of prayers for herself, including verses friends sent her, and would daily speak out each one. She meditated on 1 John 14:15.

God also sent “angels” to her. “After diagnosis, different people came to me to prep me for the treatment,” she said.

Her mother brought a breast cancer survivor to talk to her. “She told me things like ‘Cut your hair very short before chemo, so the impact of losing your hair won’t be so big.’”

People she had never met before would come to encourage her.

A group of her closest church mates rallied around her, forming her inner circle who prayed with me, who believed with me,” she said, calling them her “community”.

Good friends from her former cell group rallied around her and formed a prayer community that she drew comfort and support from.

She also joined a group of cancer patients and caregivers in her church who met every fortnight to pray together.

One close friend from her “community” Cynthia Yen had a box of fresh fruits sent to her every month for six months.

This note accompanied one of the fruit gifts. “I keep all the prayers from different friends in my phone notes, and I meditate on them and pray every day,” said Sabrina.

“In fact, I relied on Him even more. I drew closer to God, for sure. I never prayed like that before.”

Sabrina was secure in her faith, all the more so during this period she battled cancer. But when one of her pastors from City Harvest Church, Choong Tsih-Ming asked her if she felt God’s presence, Sabrina replied, “I don’t know.”

The pastor suggested, “You can try to sense Him, and you can ask Him, ‘Where are you, Lord?’ You can commune with God.”

One time during chemo, “I tried to sense what God wanted to say to me,” she said. “I could not hear anything, but an old children’s song kept playing in my mind.”

She teared as she recalled the moment. 

“It’s a very simple song: Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. I read all the lyrics, and through them, God said He loves me. God loves me.”

The hardest part

In July 2022, Sabrina went for her final treatment. A year later, her doctor declared her officially cancer-free — she had gone 12 months without need for any treatment.

“On the last day of treatment, the nurse clapped her hands and said ‘Congrats!’,” she remembered. “I felt that cancer was truly behind me.”

Looking back, she shared that emotionally, losing her hair from chemo was difficult. 

Sabrina at her final chemo session. Apart from adverse side effects during the first session, she experienced great grace during the course of the treatment.

“I was very conscious of how I would look without my hair. So before treatment started, I watched a lot of videos by other patients on how to wear a wig. I bought a wig — no wig cannot go out!”

But chemo was not the hardest part of having cancer. “It was the pain after surgery and the radiation,” said Sabrina.

“My wound didn’t heal properly, and healing took a while. I had to have it restitched a few times.

“I also had liquid pooling in the lat (back) area, and I had to go for treatment to have it drained. It took a few months to heal.”

She went for radiation treatment post-surgery, and was instructed to apply cream after every session. 

“Maybe I didn’t take it so seriously,” she mused. “During radiation the skin is burnt on the inside. Eventually the skin broke and peeled, so all over my entire breast, the skin was peeling.”

It was so bad she could not go out – wearing clothes risked further damage to her skin. She had to wait three weeks for the skin to heal and the inflammation to subside.

Celebrating Joshua’s fourth birthday year and a half after her final treatment. Sabrina and Jason are now discussing a second child.

But Sabrina soldiered on, taking things in her stride, believing God for the best. She and her husband are currently thinking about having their second child.

“My doctor said I can’t have children in the first five years, but she said we can start thinking about it,” she smiled, adding that Joshua recently declared they needed four people in their home so he would not be lonely.

Life reflection

When cancer hit, it was like Sabrina’s work mode switched off. “Basically, I just put everything aside. It came to me very clearly that I had to go for treatment.

“On the business side, I actually never thought too much of it, because my husband was still running it. And the retail team wasworking on the day-to-day things.

“So my biggest responsibility was to go for treatment immediately. No one else could do that for me.”

The episode brought about a big change in her. “I learned through this episode that I cannot push too hard. Before cancer I worked till very late, I was too stressed, I was taking work too seriously.”

In the midst of treatment (Sabrina wearing a wig in this photo), good friends would come and celebrate Christmas with the couple.

During treatment, she stopped designing full time. “I slowly started delegating to the team,” she said.

Succession planning had not been on the cards till her diagnosis. Jason handles the business end of SABRINAGOH and steered the business admirably through the COVID years.

Now they have put things in place for the business to continue running even if Sabrina should retire. 

“My life reflection after this is we want to do our best but not at the cost of health,” she added. 

She sees her oncologist, breast surgeon and radiation doctor every six months, and returns for scans once a year.

She has also made changes to her lifestyle: “I consciously sleep early now, I’m in bed by 10pm. Last time, sleeping like 2am was fine. But not now. I’m very conscious.”

The couple make no evening plans. After dinner, they spend time with Joshua before bed. Even their cell group meetings are now held in the day.

Her diet has also improved – “We tell Joshua: McDonald’s only once a week!”

Eating well is part of Sabrina’s new regime, along with sleeping early.

What has grown is the closeness she now feels with God. “I learned (through this experience) that I can really rely on Him. During that COVID period, no one could come into the room with me. I went into the operating theatre by myself, praying with my eyes shut, all the way.

“It was only God and me. He is close to me.”

Sabrina appeared in Tatler magazine this Breast Cancer month to create awareness of the disease. 

To anyone reading this who has been diagnosed with breast cancer, she urged, “Pray and tell God what’s going through your mind, and how you want Him to help you.

“Surround yourself with people you trust who can support you. Community is very important – don’t let yourself be alone. Join a group like the Breast Cancer Foundation, get help.”

Sabrina is trusting God with her life. “I pray for a cancer-free future, to continue doing the things God wants me to do.”

The post “I relied on Him even more”: How fashion designer Sabrina Goh encountered God during breast cancer appeared first on Salt&Light.