It was an excerpt of an interview with Singapore’s Senior Minister Lee Hsien Loong, in which he talked about woke culture making life “very burdensome” instead of bringing cohesiveness and solidarity to a society.

Wokeism, or woke culture, has become a defining aspect of the era we live in, and in recent times has received increasing backlash. The term refers to being attentive to social and political injustices, particularly in relation to issues of race, gender and inequality.

“It is one of the major movements of our time,” said Suzanne Choo, author of When Woke Goes Broke: Redeeming Social Justice for the Church.

Suzanne is an Associate Professor at the English Language and Literature department at the National Institute of Education, Nanyang Technological University.

When Woke Goes Broke is the first book in GraceWorks’ new series The Gospel Way, edited by Leow Wen Pin. The series helps churches answer the call to be missional towards an ever-evolving world.

When Woke Goes Broke is the first book in The Gospel Way series, written by Suzanne and edited by Leow Wen Pin (right).

In her book, Suzanne briefly discusses the rise of woke movements in the West such as Black Lives Matter and #metoo. She also analyses these movements in relation to influential philosophies such as postmodernism.

A crucial part of the book is her reflection on what a Christian approach to social justice would look like.

“Wokeism is not just a Western thing,” she told Salt&Light. “The #metoo movement, for example, was observed in various parts of Asia including South Korea and Taiwan. In Singapore, issues of sexual misconduct in our local universities led to calls for greater institutional accountability.”

But what does this have to do with Christians, you may ask? 

“I realised that a lot of young people are very interested in social justice these days,” said Suzanne.

“Woke culture and woke language is also a very important part of the social justice movement.

“And because social justice is a vital part of what the Bible calls us to do – to help the fatherless, the poor, the widows, the sick, the foreigners – I became interested in finding out: What, then, is an appropriate Christian response? How might a Christian response to social justice be different from some of the aggressive forms of woke culture that we see in the world today?”

Be like Jesus: CARE

Secular woke culture has contributed to some transformative changes in society, but there is a form of aggressive woke culture that has developed.

Suzanne uses an acronym for the qualities of this aggressive woke culture: SADD, which stands for self-righteousness (assuming they are right and others are wrong), aggressive behaviour (shaming and cancelling others), disinformed (basing responses on half truths or post-truths, and disengaged (seeing the other party as the enemy).

Christian woke is different, said Suzanne. “In the Bible, Christians are called to be woke to injustices. I use the acronym CARE: Christlikeness, being attuned, redemptive at its core, and engaged with culture.”

She expanded, “Jesus is described as being full of grace and truth. Likewise, Christians should pursue both aspects in our daily lives and ministries. We must exercise grace in our relations with others. We must also be committed to seeking truth.

“Second, we need to be attuned to the movements and ideologies of secular culture. To pursue truth means Christians must discern underlying ideologies, motivations and values.

“Third, at the heart of Christian social justice is redemption. When God calls out sin, it is to redeem the sinner, not to reject him or her.

Finally, Christians should be engaged with culture. “We cannot be disconnected from others, even those who may have different views from others,” Suzanne pointed out.

Suzanne presented the differences between SADD and CARE woke at the Intentional Disciplemaking Church Conference in September. Photo by Covenant EFC – Jonathan Tan

Why should we be woke?

If Christians are to be salt and light of the world (Matthew 5:13-14), they need to practise the kind of justice characteristic of God, Suzanne writes in her book.

But “on the flip side of being woke, some Christians don’t care about social justice,” she told Salt&Light.

“In whatever sphere of influence you are in the world, you can be involved in tackling injustice. Maybe you’re in a position where you can shape policy and you can make your policies more equitable.

“In every sphere we can get engaged,” she added. “We should be sensitive to the injustices around us particularly those that are systemic.”

She points out that injustice goes beyond physical forms. “The more powerful kinds of injustice are invisible, implicit in the systems that we inhabit and the cultural norms we internalise. Christians can play a role in influencing these systems so that they are fairer, more just, so that they uplift those who are marginalised or defenceless. 

“Because in the Bible, we glimpse God’s heart for the widows, the orphans, the poor. I believe we must have that special compassion for the marginalised.”

To call in the sinner, not to cancel

One of the defining elements of wokeism is cancel culture, where someone who is accused of acting or speaking in an unacceptable manner is called out, boycotted and publicly shamed.

“The cancelling of people is not what the Bible teaches,” stated Suzanne. 

“Once, God wanted to cancel the human race (Genesis 6:7). But in Genesis 8:9, He made a covenant with Noah that never again would He destroy all humanity.

“If God made a covenant to not cancel humans, who are we to do so? Christ is the prime example of one who was unjustly cancelled. He took the injustices of sin upon Himself to open the way for the restoration of humanity to God.”

But when injustice or wrong teaching is being perpetrated, what can a Christian do? “Not cancelling doesn’t mean you accept every single secular idea,” she explained. “Discern and differentiate between the person and the idea.

So should Christians be angry?

“In the Bible, most instances when Jesus became angry had to do with self-righteous, woke people, namely the Pharisees. On several occasions, they were easily triggered by something Jesus said that contradicted their views,” Suzanne pointed out. 

In her book, Suzanne explores how God’s justice as righteousness and love is demonstrated in the book of Jonah.

Jonah is called by God to be attentive to injustice, to go to Nineveh and call out against the great city for their evil ways. But the thought that God might spare the Ninevites if they repent angers Jonah.

Yet, the book ends with an insight into God’s desire to show compassion even on those who are morally and spiritually corrupt.

How the Church can equip the saints

The book ends with a call for believers to go deep in the Word of God.

“Christian wokeness emerges from being rooted in God’s truth which should be the primary driver behind the ways we interpret and respond to culture,” she said.

Having received Christ, believers are called to continue to grow in maturity through developing their skills of biblical interpretation.

Churches and church leaders can also help by equipping their congregations with fundamental hermeneutical skills, proposed Suzanne, who is currently doing her Master of Arts in Theology and Integrative Studies with the Biblical Graduate School of Theology.

An Associate Professor at the English Language and Literature department at NIE, NTU, Suzanne is also the mother of one.

Suzanne recognised that many Christians still think of such deep study as something you only do in seminary. But “if you’re not deepening your knowledge, understanding, and your hermeneutical skills, it becomes easy to be affected by the ways of the world,” she said.

“When one is rooted to God’s Word, one stands on solid ground and becomes less easily taken in and shaken by the trends of the world.”

However, one key challenge today is the combination of wokeism with postmodern skepticism and post-truth. Her book explores the importance of sustaining an orientation towards truth even when truth is under attack in the world.

“There is a need for church leaders to train lay people to be more discerning, to train them in interpretive literacy,” she observed. 

One suggestion she made was for pastors to, on occasion, “let their congregation understand how they arrived at a particular interpretation of scripture and the skills and processes involved.”

Suzanne called on believers to develop a habit of double interpretation as they approach new information: “First we need to learn to read culture and discern its worldly philosophies. Then we read the world through the Word.” 

She said, “In this way, our acts of social justice can flow from the ways we learn to see the world through God’s eyes and heart.”

When Woke Goes Broke is available here. Suzanne will be giving a lecture on the topic of Christianity and Wokeism on October 24 at Bible House, 7.30-9pm.

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The post A Christian kind of woke: What the Church can do to redeem social justice appeared first on Salt&Light.

Said Dr Tasha to Salt&Light: “Since we have known several friends and seminary graduates from Singapore, we have desired to visit for years. We are eager to learn about Singapore and count it a great joy to worship with saints on the other side of the globe.”

Her husband Dr David added, “We hope to encourage all of us in our walk with God and in the joy of Christ.” The Chapmans have two daughters.

Professor of New Testament at Covenant Theological Seminary and the author of numerous books and articles, Dr David’s teaching focuses on the study of the New Testament using insights from the original Greek language and from archaeological evidence to understand the Bible in a deeper way.

Dr Tasha is Professor of Educational Ministries at Covenant Seminary. She has served in campus ministry and directed women’s ministries in America and England. She also contributed to the ESV Women’s Devotional Bible.

The Chapmans will be in Singapore from October 24 to 26 to speak at the inaugural Rethinking Reformation (R2) Conference at Zion Serangoon Bible-Presbyterian Church.

The gift of God’s Word and unearthing biblical culture through archaeology

Dr David is recognised for his teachings and publications on exegetical use of Greek in understanding New Testament books and on archaeological and cultural backgrounds of the New Testament in the 1st Century.

Those attending the conference will have much to look forward to.

In his lecture on the Christian and the Word, where Dr Chapman will “ponder the depth of that gift (of the Word of God), and we shall ask how we can be better recipients of God’s inspired Word, all to His glory and our good.”

Another lecture will focus on how Scripture motivates us to reach the world with the Gospel. Dr David elaborated: “How does the Good News transform us so that we become God’s kingdom ambassadors in our home, our places of work, and throughout our lives? In the midst of the challenges of life in this world, how can we be better agents of God’s grace and truth to the people around us?”

“When we travel to other countries to teach, we know we will learn far more than we bring. Every culture will have things to affirm, values and practices from the good diversity of God’s image bearers in God’s common grace,” says Dr Tasha.

At his workshop on archaeology and the Bible, Dr David will be providing many illustrated examples of “how archaeology helps us better understand the cultural worlds of the Old and New Testaments, so that we can better interpret the Scriptures.”

He added, “Having directed an archaeological excavation in Jordan (just a few miles away from the Sea of Galilee), I have witnessed firsthand the joy of archaeological discovery and the real sense that we are touching history as we are digging up the past.

“And I have seen many people deeply touched by visiting the places where OT patriarchs and NT apostles walked — all the more so when we witness the very locales of Jesus’ ministry. I hope to share a bit of that joy with you all in order to better inform our study of Scripture.”

Cultural challenges in our relationship with God and understanding burnout

Dr Tasha teaches and writes on sustainability in vocational ministry and on leadership and leading learning.

She said: “During the second keynote lecture, I plan to focus on the unique global cultural challenges to our sense of relationship with ourselves, God, others, the rest of creation, and time.

“Who are we; whose are we; and what’s the purpose? We will explore how the Bible changes how we view these things, with practical results for daily living.”

Dr Tasha added that “by connecting with the science of how people learn, we can more clearly see how our time with the Word of God grows us towards maturity in Christ.

“I hope it will encourage us in the hard and vulnerable work of sanctification with the body of Christ. Semper reformanda refers to the Reformation church’s charge to the church to be always reforming, by God’s grace, through faith, by the Spirit’s power and wisdom, through study of (and according to) the Word of God.”

The Chapmans at a birthday celebration. “We also much admire the church in Singapore, and we are eager to worship with you and learn from you,” says Dr David.

Dr Tasha will also be conducting a workshop on burnout and its effects on our relationship with God and with others. 

“In order to glorify God with a life well-lived, we need a rhythm of rest, restoration, and relationships. Wise self-care is not selfish, but a form of self-denial to ‘finish the race’ that God has set before us,” she explained.

Attendees will participate in some exercises to uncover their hidden rules about work and expectations of life and the church. 

“I hope we will be encouraged by what we learn; ready to try serving Christ and the church in new ways, empowered by a renewed sense of the grace of the Gospel,” Dr Tasha added.

R2 CONFERENCE stems from the long history of annual Reformation Lectures organised by Singapore Council of Christian Churches. R2 stands for “Rethinking Reformation”, a call for Christians to relook, rethink and experience the beauty of the Word for themselves. The theme for 2024 is “Living our lives in light of God’s Reforming Word” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Find out more and/or register for the conference here.

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The post Be “empowered by a renewed sense of the grace of the Gospel” at the R2 Conference: Drs David and Tasha Chapman appeared first on Salt&Light.

On the third night, at three in the morning, she woke up and went to her window to check, and there were birds outside, “singing as if the sun had come up”.

In an interview on podcast platform, She Speaks Stories, Jane Marczewksi shares: “That struck me in such a profound way.

“I thought, ‘I want to be like those birds who are singing as if the dawn is here, even though it is not. They know with absolute certainty that it is coming, so they will sing now in advance. They won’t wait for the light to come. They’ll sing now. That’s what I want to embody … I am going to rejoice as if the morning is already here.”

God in a secret place

Marczewksi, 30, more commonly known as Nightbirde, is Simon Cowell’s golden buzzer winner for the recent season of America’s Got Talent.

A picture of youth and vigour, she had radiated a kind of persevering joy and strength as she stood on stage, singing her original song, “It’s Okay”.

Yet moments before, when asked about her current condition, she had revealed to the judges: “The last I checked, I had some cancer in my lungs, spine, and liver.” It is, in fact, the third time that she has had cancer in the span of three-and-a-half years.

Growing up, Marczewski confesses to Dixon on a podcast, she had always been a people pleaser. Hyper-vigilant to what everybody wanted of her, she strove to do and be what people would accept the most.

By the time she was in college, while successful with music and popular with her friends, she found that she didn’t like or even know herself anymore.

Speaking to Parker in an interview, she tells her: “I was so good at getting the praise of people, and I was so addicted to this affirmation from other people, it truly became a problem, because I just absorbed all of this attention and praise, and just gloried in being someone that was more important than everyone else.

“And that was a breaking point for me. I couldn’t be in the spotlight anymore because I was actually not blessing anybody, and I was certainly not blessing myself,” Marczewski admits on She Speaks Stories.

This led to a three-year break from music – a time that she dedicated to the Lord to find Him again in the secret place (Psalm 51:6).

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“When I was coming to the end of the three year season, at the end of September 2017, I was gearing up and I felt like God had healed so much of my heart, and my purpose was aligning with His will, my goals with His goals, really probably for the first time. And I was so ready to go.

“And that was the moment I got diagnosed with cancer.”

He called me to look Him in the face

“September 2017 was when I was going to pick up music again,” Marczewski shares on a Spotify interview, Then God Moved. “Getting the cancer diagnosis had really set me into a deep questioning with God.

“I had set myself apart for Him for three years because I wanted to be whole and healthy and in a right relationship with Him, but He had let it (cancer) happen to me, exactly when I had thought that the testing was over.

“I was incredibly shattered and disappointed; I felt betrayed. But as I was dealing with all that anger, I felt God asking me to just do one thing, and that was to look at Him in the face.

“When we feel hurt or betrayed by somebody, the last thing we want to do is to look them in the face. Even if they are going to comfort me and explain to me, I don’t even really want that. I just want to be mad and I don’t want to connect with you at all. It doesn’t matter what you say.

“But as I walked through that cancer journey the first time, I was obedient to that and I did look at God in the face during that time, and He just showed me so many beautiful things and He taught me so many beautiful lessons that I have carried forward, and will always carry forward.”

“God doesn’t waste our pain,” Marczewski says in She Speaks Stories. “He doesn’t waste a single thing. Cancer is not what I wanted, but since it happened to me, I am going to wring out every drop of good that is here.”

“It might not be much, but I am going to keep wringing it out, because I know that He is amazing and He can make even cancer good somehow.” 

The force of His unconditional love

“My core struggle is the belief that I am loved, or worthy of love without anything to prove it,” Marczewski says.

“Before, I used my voice to get applause that would distract me from how empty I felt without it.

“But when I went through cancer the first time, I wasn’t able to be pretty, I wasn’t able to sing, I wasn’t able to be funny, or to work for myself,” Marczewski shares on Then God Moved.

“I had actually become a burden to everyone around me. But it was in those moments when I had lost all the tools that I had in my toolbox to make myself lovable, I was met with the most powerful force of unconditional love I had ever experienced before, in Him.

“That shifted my entire paradigm about what I believed about myself, and it resurrected my spirit for me, and made me a completely different person.”

Yet this was not the end of her struggles. 

Darkest despair

“I thought that I had done a pretty good job at that point, going through the fire and being purified by God. But God was not finished,” Marczewski says in Then God Moved.

“The second time I got diagnosed, it was very, very different. It was a much, much darker and deeper despair than I had ever felt before.

“My marriage was totally on the rocks, and I had gotten the diagnosis on New Year’s Eve. When they faxed over the results, I sat on the ground. I was absolutely shocked. It was 11 pages long, detailing all of the tumours that were in my lungs, liver, lymph nodes, ribs and spine. They were innumerable.

“The first time I had cancer, I had two tumours – one was big and in the breast, and the other was in the armpit, so it had felt very attainable for me to beat it. I did a lot of research and statistically, I was fine. I knew I could do it.

“But the second time, there were too many tumours for the doctors to even count. I had three to six months to live. That’s 12 Fridays. And a 2% chance that I would make it past that time.

“I was already super sick. It’s different when you’re sick with the flu and you know that you’ll be better in two weeks, than when you’re super, super sick, and you get news that says you’re not getting better ever.

“That sent me into such a pit of despair. And I was 28.

“About two weeks after I got my diagnosis, my husband actually told me that he was leaving. He sat me down and just said, ‘I’m done.’ We were married for five years.

“Handling a divorce on its own can be such a life-altering experience; it can completely flatten your whole world. But dealing with that as I was facing death was way too much.

“At that point, I was so sick, I wasn’t sleeping or eating. I couldn’t lay down, I couldn’t stand up in the shower. In those really, really dark times, I asked God, “Please let me die fast. I don’t have it in me to do this anymore.”

“I am here”

“There was a moment where I was in the hospital, drugged up pretty bad on a bunch of painkillers,” Marczewski adds in She Speaks Stories.

“The tumours had cracked my spine so I was dealing with a lot of back pain, and I was at the beginning of the process when I had gotten the news of cancer and my marriage had just ended.

“I was completely vegetative and in shock. I was almost in tears all the time, for probably three weeks to a month.

“But there was a moment in the hospital when I was being moved from one bed to another, and I was crying, and suddenly I heard the Lord say to me, ‘Every day of yours was written in my book before one of them came to be’ (Psalm 139:16), and I just felt He was saying, ‘I knew this day was coming and I am here. Every one of them is written in my book.’”

“And that was such a tender moment for me.”

Speaking about spiritual healing, Marczewski says in Then God Moved: “Healing happens little by little, and in unrecognisable ways. I was able to forgive because I understand that only a really broken, hurting, and lost person would be able to abandon their spouse like that.

“Just like Jesus said, ‘Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing’ (Luke 23:34). That was really powerful for me.

“I read in this book about the story of a little sheep who has to travel the mountain with a broken leg, and she’s following the shepherd, and feels totally unprepared for this journey. As she is going up this mountain, she meets this flower that’s near a rock, and she asks this flower, ‘What are you doing here? Why aren’t you with all the other wildflowers?’

“And this little flower says, ‘It wasn’t fair what happened to me. I got carried up here by someone and just dropped off, left here on the rock. My name is Bearing the Cost, but you can also call me Forgiveness. I was carried here, out of no fault of my own. Left here, far from my home, with no soil and water, but I decided to bear the cost of my own healing, and put my roots down in the rock. And somehow, a stream of water just, drop by drop, came by and watered me, and I am able to grow here in this rock and become every bit as beautiful as I was always meant to be.’

“That hit me so hard, because when we are wronged by someone, we often think that they need to come and make it right, and then we heal. But the way I came to understand it was, forgiveness is to say, ‘I’ll call it even. You don’t have to come back and make it right. I’ll pay the cost that it takes to heal.’ And that’s what I did.”

In talking about dealing with disappointment with God, she says: “The best way I can sum it up is through the verses of Psalm 131:1-3: I do not occupy myself with things too great and marvellous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother.

“I am able to walk through the uncertainty of this season because I’ve taken on this perspective. I am no longer going to demand an answer from the universe, or from God, or the people that hurt me or abandoned me. I am not going to exhaust myself, trying to understand something that cannot be understood.

“When a child is weaned, they’re not begging for milk anymore. They already had enough and are satisfied by it. They are no longer asking for anything else from their mother, but just to be with her and held by her.”

Redefining Favour

When speaking about suffering with She Speaks Stories, Marczewski recalls the story of Mary.

“She is called blessed and highly favoured – the most favoured of all women, she’s the one that gets picked.

“And we all think, ‘I want to be favoured and chosen by God.’

“But if you think about what Mary’s story was – nine months pregnant on a donkey and she can’t explain why, gives birth in a barn, and then she has to flee because somebody is trying to kill her baby. That doesn’t seem like favour. But she was favoured.

“Sometimes favour doesn’t come in the form that we think. We think that, if God favours me, then I am going to be famous and beautiful and have a good marriage. But the favour of God doesn’t often look like what we think.

“If you think that being favoured by God means that your life is going got be easy and beautiful and perfect, you’re not thinking correctly.

“His favour does not always look like that. In the end, Mary’s story was beautiful and worth every bit of pain and struggle that she endured.”

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This is Jane Marczewski, a young woman from Ohio who has had three bouts of cancer – in her lungs, spine and liver – barely before the age of 30. Doctors say she has a 2% chance of survival, or six months to live.

“I’m singing an original song,” she tells the judges at talent show America’s Got Talent (AGT). “It’s called ‘It’s Okay‘.” 

Her clear voice rings through the darkness of the hall and – we realise later – the darkness in her life.

“That really got to me,” said tough judge Simon Cowell, who brushed away a tear after the achingly authentic performance of “It’s Okay” by Marczewski, whose stage name is Nightbirde. Screenshot from AGT’s Youtube page.

In the darkness, a prayer

On New Year’s Eve in 2019, Marczewski was diagnosed with terminal cancer, tumours infiltrating her lungs, liver, lymph nodes, ribs and spine. This would eventually collide with a divorce late in 2020.

After her husband told her he didn’t love her any more, her body and soul were wracked with grief.

Even after getting successfully treated for her cancer in California after 16 weeks, the collateral damage had caused a physical head trauma, resulting in her brain sending false signals of intense pain and panic.

In Marczewski’s blog, nightbirde.co, she writes about the darkness of the earth, before it had been formed by God – a “vast and damp emptiness” – that is much like her own darkness.

She writes about the days tears have become the only prayer she knows, prayers that she repeats “night and day; sunrise, sunset”.

As she prays, she reminds herself that she is praying to a God who had “let the Israelites stay lost for decades”. 

“They begged to arrive in the Promised Land, but instead He let them wander, answering prayers they didn’t pray,” she writes. “For forty years, their shoes didn’t wear out. Fire lit their path each night. Every morning, He sent them mercy-bread from heaven.

“I look hard for the answers to the prayers that I didn’t pray. I look for the mercy-bread that He promised to bake fresh for me each morning. The Israelites called it manna, which means ‘what is it?'”

Yet her despair has not blinded her to God’s presence.

In her blogpost “God is on the bathroom floor”, she says: “I see mercy in the dusty sunlight that outlines the trees, in my mother’s crooked hands, in the blanket my friend left for me, in the harmony of the wind chimes.

“It’s not the mercy that I asked for, but it is mercy nonetheless. And I learn a new prayer: thank you. It’s a prayer I don’t mean yet, but will repeat until I do.”

“Why do we believe that when we are in pain, it must mean God is far?” Marczewski says in her blog nightbirde.co. “The Creator is still here, where He has always been, hovering over the emptiness.” Screenshot from AGT’s Youtube page.

Even in the dark, as she is curled on the bathroom floor, she cries to God and curses Him in the same breath, she says, until all that is left is a whimper. Darkness is an easy abyss to lie in.

But in this darkness, as she lies on the bathroom floor, there is a meeting with God.

“I am God’s downstairs neighbour, banging on the ceiling with a broomstick. I show up at His door every day. Sometimes with songs, sometimes with curses. Sometimes apologies, gifts, questions, demands. Sometimes I use my key under the mat to let myself in. Other times, I sulk outside until He opens the door to me Himself.

“Call me bitter if you want to – that’s fair. Count me among the angry, the cynical, the offended, the hardened. But count me also among the friends of God. For I have seen Him in rare form. I have felt His exhale, laid in His shadow, squinted to read the message He wrote for me in the grout: ‘I’m sad too.'”

Marczewski’s grief is honest, but hopeful.

“I haven’t come as far as I’d like, in understanding the things that have happened this year. But here’s one thing I do know: when it comes to pain, God isn’t often in the business of taking it away. Instead, he adds to it.

“He is more of a giver than a taker. He doesn’t take away my darkness, he adds light. He doesn’t spare me of thirst, he brings water. He doesn’t cure my loneliness, he comes near. So why do we believe that when we are in pain, it must mean God is far?

“In the beginning, there was immense, immeasurable emptiness. But God was drawn to it like a fog to the sea. He stretched out His spirit over the void, and He stayed. If the stories I’ve heard of Him are true, surely He is nearest of all, to me. To us. You see, the Creator is still here, where He has always been, hovering over the emptiness.

“I am still begging, bargaining, demanding, disappearing. And I guess that means I have all the more reason to say thank you, because God is drawing near to me.”

It’s okay

As she stands on the AGT stage, she sings with conviction and assurance: “It’s okay, if you’re lost. We’re all a little lost, and it’s alright.”

“You are the voice we all need to hear this year,” AGT host Terry Crews tells the young woman backstage after the audience erupts with applause and a standing ovation. Screenshot from AGT’s Youtube page.

She stays in the waiting, even when the sky is not clear, trusting that the Lord is near.  

The crowd in the hall stands to applause, and it is thundering.

She wipes a tear, and takes a shaky breath of relief.

“It’s important that everyone knows that I am so much more than the bad things that happen to me,” she says in response. 

“I have a 2% chance of survival. But 2% is not 0%; 2% is something! And I wish people knew how amazing it is.”

Simon Cowell reaches for the golden buzzer, and tears fill her eyes again. This time, it is tears of joy.

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A former colleague invited her to join an SAHM support group and she accepted it readily.

“The group was reaching out to mums who are homemakers and I thought, ‘Okay, I can do that. It would be helpful for me and it would be an opportunity to minister to other mums as well’,” said Low, 55.

This was her introduction to WOW MOM, a community of support groups for SAHMs started by Cru Singapore.

The groups, clustered around different neighbourhoods across the island, meet to encourage each other in their parenting journey, study the Bible and learn to share their faith.

“It was different from cell group because it was all mothers supporting one another. It was helpful at the time because I had just come back to Singapore.

“When we meet, we study the Bible, we do book studies on prayer, marriage, parenting, and we study the women in the Bible.

There are WOW MOM groups across Singapore, which makes joining convenient for stay-home mums. This was the WOW MOM group in Clementi n 2013.

“So, it helped me to grow as a mum and helped to keep me on my toes.”

The weekly meetings were held in the mornings, which fit perfectly the mothers’ schedule since their children would be in school then. It also gave the women a chance to meet new people and get real help.

Apart from sharing their experiences as mothers and offering tips on managing children, the household and their husbands, the women also helped each other in practical ways.

“One of the mums has three boys. When she had to run errands, I would babysit one or two of the boys,” said Low.

“When I injured my leg, they helped me with my marketing, bought lunch for me and visited me to provide fellowship.”

There would be play dates for the children as well, so the mothers could drop off their kids and get some time to themselves.

“In terms of ministry, the group included non-believers and young believers. It started with neighbours whom we invited and those who lived around the same area.”

Soon, they were making friends in the market and playgrounds, and inviting homemakers to join them.

“The mums were open to joining us because we were talking about our struggles as mums. We provided a listening ear and we carried one another’s burden through prayer.” 

Seeking peace

That was how Low met Sharlin Ang, 52. Ang was the neighbour of the woman running their WOW MOM group. A homemaker too, Ang was “looking for a religion to be more grounded”.

Brought up in another religion, Ang had sought peace through different practices and dietary restrictions.

“But I realised that the people were good at religion but not good in real life. I was wondering, ‘Why are these people not real, not true?’ So, I decided to back out and became a free-thinker for many years.”

When Ang discovered that her neighbour was a Christian, she approached her to find out more.

“I wanted to know about Christianity, about God and how real He is because, when I think about Christianity, I feel more calm and at peace,” said Ang.

Low (second from left) and Ang (right) with other mums in their group. They meet at McDonald’s every Chinese New Year to enjoy the seasonal prosperity burger.

When Low met Ang at the WOW MOM group, she thought she would befriend Ang and share the Gospel with her because Ang was not a Christian. But the two became more than WOW MOM buddies.

Said Low: “She joined the group before I did and she’s very sociable, very helpful, someone who really cares. We kind of clicked. We could talk to each other.”

Added Ang about Low: “I like her because she is very calm and she is not judgemental. With her, you can ask any question and she will not judge you.

“I was very comfortable with her and we had kids about the same age. My youngest son and her son are a year apart.”

Soon, the two mums were meeting every day. They lived only a few blocks away from each other and would go to the market together and then to breakfast afterwards.

With three children – one in secondary school, one in primary school and the youngest in kindergarten then – Ang was “the more experienced mum” and Low would regularly seek her advice. 

“She is the resourceful one and she drives. We would take our kids out – we would go swimming, to the playground.

“I thought that I was going to help her by reaching out to her but it turned out that she helped me instead,” said Low.

Their friendship did make it easier for Low to share her faith regularly, although it would be a long process.

Said Ang: “My husband isn’t a believer. He never opposed me going to the group, but I just wanted to wait for the right time.”

It would be three years before Ang made the decision to become a Christian.

“We were swimming with the kids. She had gone for evangelism training even though she was not a Christian yet.

“So, I decided to talk to her and then I asked her if she wanted to accept Jesus,” said Low.

Explained Ang: “There had been many opportunities before. At the WOW MOM group, the leader would often ask who wanted to pray to receive Christ but I just never did.

“This time, I just felt it was the right time. I was calm and at peace and really wanted to entrust myself to God.”

Both women agree that an interest group like a mum’s support group is a great way to create opportunities to share God’s Word.

“It’s non-threatening and practical because we talk about how the Bible applies to life, children, our husbands. It’s definitely helpful,” said Low.

Agreed Ang: “It helps that Karen is also not pushy!”

God is present

After Ang became a Christian, Low decided to start a follow-up group to help Ang better understand the Bible.

“Other than the mummies in the WOW MOM group, we also meet a lot of new believer mums or mums who were not sure of their salvation.

“And there were mums in the WOW MOM group who wanted to know more about their faith or were confused about certain things in the Bible. So, I started a Bible study group for these mums,” said Low.

Ang, who could not go to church regularly because her husband was not a Christian, found the follow-up group particularly helpful.

“Every lesson helps because it helped me learn about God and how wonderful He is. God spoke to me through the meetings.

“And Karen is a very nice mentor. I learnt a lot from her. I’m still learning from her.

“She explains things very clearly and calmly when you don’t understand God’s Word or what people share.”

In time, Ang brought a friend who became a Christian through the group.

“We met through our sons, who were in badminton together,” said Ang.

That original Bible study group eventually closed but Low has since started another Bible study group of which Ang is a member. They meet at lunch.

Said Ang: “Even right now, God speaks to me through the group.”

Ang’s oldest child recently moved out to live with a friend. “We’re okay with it but, as a mother, I did wonder: Is it for the better or not?”

At the Bible study group, they were discussing Philemon and one verse – Philemon 15 – which talked about how momentary separation can be good, stood out to Ang.

“It spoke to me. I thought that maybe that’s why my daughter wanted to go out for a while. I felt that it was a very comforting note. I felt at peace.”

The children may have grown up and the women may have moved on from the WOW MOM group. But the friendship and faith found all those years ago are still going strong.  

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The post A mummy friendship that led to a faith relationship appeared first on Salt&Light.

But there is a season of parenting that is just as pertinent and poignant: When our kids have grown up.

How do we parent someone old enough to earn their own keep, tall enough to look down (not up) at us, and smart enough to talk back?

Salt&Light talks to three families about their journeys.

Surrendering a rebel to God: The Ohs

Joseph Oh, 58, and his wife Joni Yuen, 53, are parents to two sons and a daughter, all in their 20s. Their ease with their children today was refined by a season of rebellion when their youngest son was 13.

Eldest child Zenas, dad Joseph, middle child Tryphena, mum Joni, and youngest child Jonas in their festive best over Chinese New Year. Photo courtesy of the Oh family.

“He became a delinquent,” said Joni of their youngest son Jonas.

At 13, he lost interest in his studies and refused to go to school. “Every morning was like wartime. He kept saying let him be; he just wanted to do what he wanted.”

Eventually, he dropped out of school. He would sleep in the day and go out at night till the wee hours of the morning. His parents never knew where he went. Then, he joined a gang.

In desperation, the Ohs sought help from the church and counsellors. But “the more we wanted to pull him back, the more he resisted”.

“One day he just told me: ‘I think you two need counselling. I don’t need counselling,’” said Joni.

It was then that Joni decided to “surrender him to God”.

The stillness of her soul surprised her son. He confronted her one day when he was 16. He asked her why she seemed so calm.

“I told him: ‘It’s not that I’m not worried and sad. But I’ve committed you to God.’”

Dad Joseph chose to focus on turning his heart fully to God, holding on to Malachi 4:5-6 that God would “turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents”.

Instead of confrontations and judgement, dad Joseph chose to love and serve. He would wait up into the early hours of the morning, cooking his son supper when he returned home. Night after night he would do this without a word of thanks.

“The night my son finally said ‘Pa, thank you’, my husband was close to tears,” said Joni.

One day, at age 16, after three years away from the books, Jonas asked to return to school. Today, he is in his final year at a polytechnic.

The way the Ohs parent their children consciously changed as a result.

“Now, they talk, we listen,” said Joseph. “We are careful not to have top-down communication.”

Joseph has learnt to let his children set the rhythm in conversation and “give them the time and space”.

For instance, picking the right time to show his love and care. Not when his oldest son is engrossed in his work. 

“I make sure I’m around. And when he stops for a break, I engage him in conversation and see if he wants to talk.”

Even the recent Circuit Breaker which many families bemoaned, was a time of communication and bonding for the Ohs.

Mum Joni found that she did not have enough time to complete her work at home when she had to prepare a meal for the family every two hours. 

“Over dinner and I brought up the matter of rotating meal preparations to them. They agreed quite readily. I was a bit surprised,” she said.

Middle child, Tryphena, found another perk to preparing the meals: It opened up another avenue of conversation, she said of asking her parents advice on how to to cook, how much groceries to buy, and how to choose the freshest items. 

“Just doing something together helps people to open up. It gave my parents a chance to approach us in way that is more friendly.”

The Ohs also revived an old family tradition – playing Rummikub, bringing back memories of times when the children were younger. 

Bonding over HIIT workouts and family devos: The Thams

Alex Tham, 56, and wife Shirley, 55, join HIIT (high-intensity interval training) workouts led by their exercise enthusiast daughters aged 25 and 22. Even though they did not immediately think they could manage the workouts. 

Dad Alex, Adeline and her older sister Stephanie, and mum Shirley on a family trip to Taiwan in 2019, just before Adeline started working. Photo courtesy of Tham family.

“We think it’s important to show our support in the things they are interested in,” said mum Shirley. “It boosts their confidence. My girls also appreciate it. It made them very happy that we joined in. 

“As parents we need to keep in touch with what our children like. I told myself that if I don’t change now, I wouldn’t be able to adapt when I’m much older and more set in my ways.”

Growing with their children has also meant leading them to grow in their faith. When the Tham sisters were young, their parents would have family devotions with them every night.

“We would start with worship, then some verses and prayer,” said Alex.

Then sharing openly as the girls got older. It developed a culture where the girls, even as adults, “bring their problems to us”.

Because of their children’s increasingly busy schedules, bedtime devotions were moved forward to after dinner. 

“Instead of leaving right after the meal, we make them stay on to talk. We learnt to nod and hold our tongues, and not judge,” said Shirley of those times.

Those family devotions have evolved into sharing prayer needs through a WhatsApp chat group. 

“Before bed, my husband and I will pray for them,” said Shirley. “In the morning, God often gives me a verse or a song for them. Then, I will send it over the chat group to encourage them.”

Even conflicts are brought to God in prayer.

“Sometimes when we disagree and I’m hurt or I think that I’ve been wrong in an argument, I will lift it up to God in our family prayers.

“I let my girls hear my struggles and my effort.” 

Dad Alex holds to Proverbs 3:5-6, trusting in God for wisdom in parenting, especially since the two girls are very different in character.  

“You can’t use the same method of parenting with both. So, we have always trusted God to give us the wisdom to guide our children even now that they are so old.”

Modelling love: The Lims 

Albert Lim, 59, and his wife Alison, 57, are parents to three grown children, and new grandparents to a baby girl. Since the children were young, Albert would model the walk by apologising when he is in the wrong.

Aaron (left) with parents Albert and Alison, sister Ariel and brother-in-law Adwyn, and brother Asher. All the Lim siblings have names beginning with the letter A was by design; his brother-in-law’s name starts with A was divine appointment. Photo courtesy of Lim family.

It’s often said that “sorry” is the hardest word to say. 

“When things are not right between my wife and I, I would apologise, even in front of the kids,” said dad Albert. “They see it.”

He would also apologise to his kids. 

So from a very young age, the Lim children have had no problems apologising without being promoted when they are at fault.

Their parents also made a conscious effort to let the children know that they are loved unconditionally, telling them “I love you”. In the morning. And at night. Even now when they are adults. 

Now that they no longer have the opportunity to pray with their children on car rides to school, Albert and wife make it a point to wish them a blessed day when the kids leave the house. 

“So they know. They hear from our voices that we still love them. We communicate this so they don’t forget.”

Youngest son Aaron, 22, also appreciates that his dad makes an effort to find common ground with him. Recently, he had to do a research paper on England’s history for his university course. He found it “pretty cool” that his father, who had also studied history, offered to be a sounding board.

“It turned out that he knew more than me. I got some good ideas from him,” said Aaron. “It is interesting that he is trying to engage me in a different way.”

Aaron admits that he chafed under his parents’ control in his younger years “especially when they didn’t explain their rationale and I couldn’t understand them”. But became more willing to open up when he noticed his parents listening more as he and his siblings grew. 

As his parents began to let go, he started to see their side of things.

“It’s no longer one way. They talk but they also listen. So, it’s easier to accept things when they talk to me like that,” said Aaron.

Said dad Albert: “They do value your wisdom as they get older. They’ve come to trust our counsel because they know we are God-fearing and give them wise advice.

“They can walk into our room any time and talk to us and we will make ourselves available.”

The post Parenting grown-up kids: Three families share their journeys appeared first on Salt&Light.

As Christians, we should be concerned with ordering our private and public lives to be consistent with a volatile economy.

Second, we are faced with a more complex society than ever.

Third, because of volatility and complexity, we are driven to emphasise what is immediate rather than what is long-term.

To these three concerns, I wish to advance the cultivation of the habits of:

• solitude, to counter volatility
• simplicity, to counter complexity 
• sanctification, to counter the tendency to emphasise the immediate, rather than what is eternal

The cultivation of solitude

The very “success” of Singapore has generated a new set of problems, one of which is volatility due to Singapore being closely integrated not only with the western capitalistic economies but also with our neighbouring countries.

Integration in terms of trade and finance means that we are subject to their business cycles. Much of Singapore is dependent on multi-national companies (MNCs) and we try to attract the best companies here.

This means that new activities make their appearance here, and Singaporeans are therefore continually exhorted to retrain and prepare themselves.

Volatility also comes through the foreigners who live and work among us. The result is uncertainty, not only because of the many foreigners who compete directly but also because of the new MNCs and activities, which are brought in. Therefore, the Christian response is to develop a robust personhood. Singaporeans need to be robust, capable of adjustment, change and risk-taking.

What Christian discipline then can we develop? It has to do with cultivating the inner self and solitude with God. Jesus refreshed Himself with many hours of solitude, away from the crowds. In between the passages describing what Jesus spoke or did, are gaps, which indicate that Jesus was not with people but with God.

The cultivation of simplicity

Our lives remain simple if they are always centred on God. However, the relationship to God is different in different areas of our life.

Much of the time, we compartmentalise God and do not integrate God into our activities. Hence, we associate Sunday and church with God. Monday and office are not of  God. It should not be God versus office, money, stocks and shares, technology, handphones, and so forth. It should be God + office, God + money, God + stocks and shares, God+ technology and handphones, and God+ home.

The common denominator to all our activities and concerns is therefore God. Simplicity arises from integration into a common denominator. God-centred simplicity requires cultivation of the discipline of putting God into every area of our lives.

The cultivation of sanctification

Extreme volatility and complexity lead us to emphasise the immediate or the short-term. How does a vision of Jesus Christ give us the capacity to withstand the tyranny of the urgent?

The first stage is when we love self. Such love is not as selfish as it seems, for many of us do not love ourselves enough. We are continually looking outwards that we do not look inwards to appreciate who we are.

In Psalm 139, knowing that it is God who made and sustains us will move us on to love God for what God can do for us. This is the stage where most Christians are today. They depend on God to be by their side, to help and advise. This is needful love.

The third stage of love is where we love God for God’s sake. This is appreciative love, enabling us to praise God even when God does not seem to bless us. In this stage, we see God even in “bad” circumstances. We bless God in difficult times, knowing that there is a God in control.  

There is yet a fourth stage: Loving self for God’s sake. It is looking at ourselves from God’s perspective, which is totally different from ours. That is why very few Christians reach this stage, if ever at all in this lifetime. 

What does God see in us? He sees us as wretched and miserable, and yet capable of being crowned with glory and honour. In Psalm 8, we are lifted from where we are and challenged to be at the place where God is, seeing everything including ourselves from God’s perspective.

Romans 8 is where Paul challenges us to be led by the Spirit of God so that we can be sons or daughters of God.

Sanctification is being able to see things from God’s perspective, first seeing God Himself and then seeing ourselves as children of God, rather than being slaves of self and sin. It is the vision, which can lift us from being overly concerned with the immediate and the short-term. Through the presence of the Holy Spirit, we can see everything from God’s perspective, especially ourselves.

Economic challenges and God’s perspective of us

We need to integrate theology with economics, in other words, put (God + economy) rather than compartmentalise God from economics (God/economy). Hence, my theological studies were not only about the Bible and theology but also about an interdisciplinary study of integrating worldly concerns in a Christian framework.

In so doing, I was able to simplify my life by integrating economics into God, focusing the study of economics on God.

Whatever the change in your environment or circumstances, discipline yourself to see more and more from God’s perspective. Start with examining yourself, where you are, who you are, and what you are doing. Next centre more and more of your life on God. Start with your hobbies, your church, your career and so on.

Life on this earth is only a journey. Our true home is heaven and the person whom we are eventually spending the most time with is God. Yet, we burden ourselves with inconsequential matters.

Climbing a mountain takes discipline but reaching the peak is worthwhile and a breath-taking experience. These are challenging times. You may ask me whether we are headed for a depression. It is said that when your neighbour loses a job, it is a slow-down. When you lose your job, it is a recession. However, when an economist loses his job, it is a depression!

We should not be optimistic but hopeful. Hope is trust in God’s promises. His promises are real but things turning better, or optimism, is not real.

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